my life. my space.

i love you!

2010-10-01T23:42:00.000+08:00

fight.

2010-09-10T23:26:00.005+08:00

Yes, what i've done wasn't of the principle that you have. and it's something i have to and must change.

but what i heard and found out, breaks me even more.

I've spent time talking things out and through, couldn't sleep cuz i know the gravity of the situation but how you put it across hurt me more than anything else could. What's more the stuff i found out, im the cat- curiosity kills the cat.

You said that you hope i thought things through, i just couldn't tell you how much i thought everything that you dont know that i know through as well... So much so deep so tired i was that slowly as the fatigue set in, the less impt ones faded away... i believe those that were left behind is what the heart truly is telling you...

it doesn't matter cuz i dont think you read here anymore so it's really for me to rant and spill my heart's content out in general.

i dont think im thinking too much, but im totally shattered.

which way sld i pick myself up from?

to me, the future matters more and that is what im inclined to go with.... but it doesn't deny me that i wouldn't think of things in the past. i promised that i wouldn't see you in different light since to me, the past is the past.

The future is what matters more.

That is what i believe in. and yes, i have so high a tolerance that many are amazed by it. to have tolerance for such shit that falls upon me. But hey, if you are worth it, why not?

i guess that's what you feel too.... with everything in retrospect, every situation is different and i can never compare apple to pear, how pear is to mango. even when they are fruits, matter of fact.

i feel as confused and uncertain, im trying to digest and keep myself together to get everything right in my mind to move on right: if im not supposed to do things, i better not do it. i shouldn't test boundaries and let anyone feel that they don't matter to me/ taken for granted.

i feel obligated and suffocated at the same time. i just need to think. properly. right. through.

maybe like what J said: don't think so much, just be a good girl and behave.

period.

如果一個男人真的愛妳

2010-09-04T02:39:00.002+08:00

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他冷落妳不會超過三天，
因為想念妳的日子很難度過 ........

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會給妳一個甜蜜的稱呼，
只屬於他一個人喊的稱呼⋯⋯ ......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，會令你溶入他的生活，
決不會相愛多年後，還讓妳妾身未明 ......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會把妳當孩子般寵愛，
但是自己又說不出寵妳的原因…

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會讓妳開心快樂，
捨不得讓妳流淚 ..

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他的手機會24小時為妳開機，
隨時隨地讓妳能夠找到他 .....

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會覺得妳是最好的，
不會將妳和其他女人做比較，即便妳並不優秀 ......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會抽出時間來陪妳，
即使自己真的很忙，因為他看不見妳會很想妳.....

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他不會要求妳減肥，
因為他把妳的身體健康看作第一位 .........

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會很想和妳生活在一起，
會把妳看成是生命中最重要的 .....

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會經常緊緊地抱著妳，
讓妳感受他的心跳 .......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會在妳睡著的時候輕輕吻妳，
因為妳是他的天使 .......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會讓妳買妳喜歡的東西，
並且很高興陪妳逛街 ........

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會對妳的家人、朋友都很好，
喜歡融入到他們當中 .......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會默默地為妳付出一切，
但很少讓妳知道他所做的犧牲 .......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會看妳吃飯的時候傻笑，
然後把好吃都留給妳吃…

如果一個男人愛妳，他會不厭其煩提醒妳吃飯，穿衣服，
聽妳說「煩了」，他還是要提醒妳，因為妳是他的一切

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會記住妳說的每句話，
哪怕是一句小玩笑，他也會放心裏。
然後努力改變自己的生活習慣。

如果一個男人真的愛妳，在妳過馬路的時候會拉著妳的手，
怕妳橫衝直撞出什麼事，所以不要甩開他的手。

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他的手機裏都是關於妳的東西，
想妳的時候會對著手機傻笑，

妳是他最美好的幸福 ...

dear !!

2010-08-06T20:01:00.002+08:00

suddenly feel so weird not having you around... and to think about how long i'll be without you around... feels a lil peculiar. but im gonna enjoy my family time and look forward to seeing you on monday night then...

till then,
love you!

i.love.you!

2010-08-06T16:01:00.002+08:00

i.love.you.baby.

thankyouforeverythingthatyou'vedone!

imgoingofftocameronhighlandsinawhile, andi'mtypingthiswhilesittingonyourcouchwithc.s.i.onscreen. andyousleepingsoundly.

i'lluploadphotosoftheeventssoonwheni'mback. let'sgoxiaolongbaobuffetokay?

iwannatellyoualsothatit'slovelytohaveyouatsoccertraining. it'senjoyabletohaveyoureviewandteachmeonhowicanimprovemysoccerskills.

ravingrabbitswheni'mbacktoo. iwannatry!! (:

cyawheni'mbackonmondayweehoursinthemorning.

*muacks*

hopeyousawmyphotomessage!

CALVIN!

2010-06-30T00:03:00.003+08:00

yar, and the 2 posts "calvin bully me" and "again" are by calvin.

(read: calbin!)

bully me... =(

dq dq huh... don't ah...

>> World cup is getting more interesting with each match. now's the rounds of 16. Paraguay vs Japan. Went into 30mins extra time. if no one scores, then penalty shoot out. We all hope Japan wins though! =)

Cino.

2010-06-29T23:35:00.007+08:00

Post dedicated to Cino.

R.I.P. Cino.

Adopted her slightly after new year... till 26th June 2010.

Pretty mommy... and her life...

Miss her so much. Can't really leave myself alone, else i get emo....

Cino and baby Coco. Borned 12 June 2010.

Exactly 2 weeks before Cino passed away.

Baby Coco and my mommy.

So cute eh?

Cino when she was pregnant,

when i put her outside as i clean her cage.

I love this photo of her.

Truly shows how pretty and gentle a soul she was.

And she was used as a mouse when she first stepped into my life.

By Calvin. =p

2010-06-29T23:35:00.001+08:00

again !!!!!!!!

2010-06-29T23:33:00.000+08:00

calvin bully mi !!!!!

Ciders baby!

2010-06-26T01:59:00.002+08:00

Here are the ciders that we've tried/ intend to try!

Bulmers' Pear Cider- Light and easy to drink. A crowd favourite.

And also.... Oops, i mean the next one!

Henry Westons' Vintage 2008 Apple Cider-

Strong acidic taste. Taste like beer.

Green Goblin!

Brothers' Pear, Strawberry and Lemon cider-

I (and Cal) prefer lemon to pear. Lemon has a slightly sweeter taste and pleasant to drink. Pear tastes quite common. Haven't tried strawberry.

Timmermans' Fruit Beer:

Fruit of the Forest- Very wonderful taste. Our favourite.

Raspberry- Nice sweet taste. A little more sour than fruit of the forest.

Peach- Pleasant flavour and easy to down.

Cherry- Strong taste and not as popular. After taste isn't as lovely as the others.

We bought these from East of Avalon, along Joo Chiat Road. Very reasonable prices. Wide range of alcohols. We drove past the shop while we cruise around for supper before a 2.30 soccer match.

Always nice to sit and drink while watching a match (:

Love,

cherri

Indoor BBQ!

2010-06-26T01:37:00.006+08:00

Sometimes when you really just be adventurous,

you get...

INDOOR BBQ!!

It's a small aluminium foiled with charcoal and a fan blowing the smoke out of the window! =D

This is the initial stage.

When you utilise the fan to get the charcoal ignited.

Sounds crazy?

It was! But the effort paid off with the yummy juicy chicken wings sink into your teeth!- Honey BBQ sauce and tom yum one! =)

*Some things you can do when you have a BBQ the next day or when you are kinda bored.

Had a crazy time with you, Calvin. =D

Thank you!

xoxo,

cherri

Thank-you post #1- sleep.

2010-06-22T01:56:00.005+08:00

Yea, i know i haven't blogged in ages. Exams ended, june ending. world cup is nearly halfway through.

Anw, i came online now to blog (at 0220 when i just woke up from falling aslp in front of the tele. im gna miss the spain match, too tired to figure where to watch on. Hope they win though.) just to thank:

Calvin

I wanted to post this up some time ago, just that my laptop has limited battery and blogging with you around is different. Even now, back in my own bed, sleeping feels different already. Not that i miss your smell or pillow (hey, your pillow IS more comfy), or fighting over the quilt and blankie, top or bottom bed, who to switch off the light.

Just YOU.

Thank you for taking care of me... When i fall asleep on the bed with everything, you get everything proper- what's to be on the bed is on the bed; what's not, is not. you turn off the light too. and you don't grumble (much), you merely just nudge me about it the next day. And laugh at me. Thank you dear. Love you <3

And this is the starting post of many thank-you posts ahead.

Much love,

Cherri

PS: ooh, the crimson red <3 looks pretty on a rose! =)

not so right time.

2010-05-08T01:38:00.004+08:00

I guess saying things at the not so right time doesn't help even when i just want you to know. so say or not say? when is it a gd time or not so right time? I say and i get all emo cuz of you getting your point at me. I don't say, also not right for frustrations build up.

I guess as much as i hate confrontations, some cannot be helped.

I just wanted you to know how i feel. just that i did so at a not so right time. That is the thing im apologetic about.

What a way to end the night after all the sweetness. sigh.

ahm?

2010-05-07T21:27:00.003+08:00

Exams.

Today's MM was a killer. Apparently the examiner kinda maxed out all his 5-star difficulty qns in this paper. CRAZY! =( boo hoo. it's far tougher than the prelims. all the upset and frustrations all had to be stashed somewhere. didn't feel like going for a jog while travelling back from expo. BUT! im glad i dragged my lazy bum. Cuz...

I ran slightly more than 7.5km! Seriously! I cannot believe i can do so and still feel alive. Wait, i feel way better! cuz the negativities all got jogged off! And at this rate, ahm shouldn't be a big problem. Yar, 21km. slightly less than 3x of what i jogged today! anw, it's been lovely jogs in the evenings. The weather has been bearable in the evenings, less the day. I jogged from the siglap connector, turn down to marine vista then to marine terrace then cross over to ecp, jogged back to the seafood centres there, take the underground (which i am afraid!) then take the connector back. Sounds easy? think again after you see the map! =P

Terri guided me on handstands and after like a couple of failed attempts, ive been doing it nearly everyday! =) so easy after you get it. I think life is like that. Once it is a habit, it gets easier.

Anyhow, MSM is next on the 11th. And i have studying with freesia tml, dog visiting and probably movie with cal on sunday. Oh and jog with mommy and daddy on either days. Exciting! =)

Cherri~out. bathe bathe bathe.

astrology.

2010-05-03T12:17:00.003+08:00

I am really restless now, thanks to the lack of knowledge and practice. let's see:

CF 5th may wed
MM 7th may fri
MSM 11th may
ESAP 26th may

And i wonder why im always restless. Even if you don't believe in astrology, suck it up. I read mine in more accuracy and i couldn't believe myself. I do have an inner restlessness. Can't remember why though. How true can that be? wow.

And astrology in details (not those kind you normally read in the papers) is actually freakily true.

okay, enough of astrology stuff... need to sit and study now.

cherri

happy birthday freesia!! =D

2010-03-24T13:40:00.005+08:00

hope you have fun!! whichever fun means. =p

sian, if only blogspot has an app on iphone like livejournal... cheeze, it's so windy here in his room. makes me sleepy. and being sick = lethargic. im feeling all aching again. guess i'll just yi du gong du since the other stuff doesnt work well. yi du gong du works better for me ;)

ah, lazing at home should be a one-day affair only. 2 days still okay. 3 days, and im already fidgetive. gotta starting working... study-working, work-working and working-out-working. im growing sideways with no brains and no income. =(

okay, gonna work that pig sunny-side up x 1.

ciao.

hello all.

2010-03-11T03:30:00.003+08:00

There were many times i wanted to blog, but i decided not to. Once, i turned to my diary. Others, i just slept on it. Feelings, now, aren't very much of must write to speak my mind out. I try my best to speak them out. Sometimes, you feel that im deliberately doing it to you. But really, some of them are either for fun or that's how i feel. Well now, having said that, i don't see a need to blog when i speak my mind out.

Anyway, CNY has come and gone. February has. 2 years. pretty long with ups and downs. very trying. And March has half gone by. The past few days have been good on a whole. generally been pretty happy. maybe just for the mood swings on both sides. But alas, life is life. nth's perfectly awesome or awesomely perfect. im happy having you with me. i hope having me with you too (: kidnapped for a week, i realised! got everyone missing me at home.

terri and sherri are playing the xbox. weird. mom's busy as usual. dad mentioned rabbit, so i took him out to play. and wanted to WALK THE RABBIT. failed miserably. let him off the leash. thought he wanted to suicide. grabbed him, and hugged him while running back into the house. frightened me. omg.

I rmb clutters... i must clear my clutters... physical ones are pretty done. im glad on the exterior visuals. interior are mostly done. except for 2 areas. minor ones.

finally uploaded photos onto fb... slow and steady. sucking my youth away... then again, i have my MM to read. So, good deal. keeps me awake. and typing this too... entertains me. and gosh, it's 3.07am!

Looking at the photos, it got me thinking how the trip was. I can't remember the minor details. I rmb the feelings. Mostly neutral, wishing things werent the way they were. Then again, they weren't uber upsetting or angry. they werent just of jubilant. having to see the world is good. i feel fortunate to have done so. i enjoyed the company mostly, i liked the atmosphere of holiday, i like the structures. makes me feel at home in uk. Just reminiscing now... glad i had you for the trip. even if it werent of romance, u made us laugh for the most part i rmb. Gee, i think i rmb the good and not the bad... oh well, isnt it better that way?

okay, i shall continue to upload and hit the books now... HUNGRY argh.

ALways on my mind...

wanna be with you. be there for you. and you for me. sounds good, yes?

Happy birthday Pang Zi. Can't wait to SEE YOU!!<3

*cherri.

PS: BITCH: Babe In Total Control Of Herself.

period. ;)

2010.

2010-01-06T14:39:00.002+08:00

Havent gotten down to sitting in front of my com, cant really blog on my iphone either. it's been a joy and distraction, i tell you...

nonetheless, i had a rather enjoyable london/ paris holiday. havent gotten down to uploading photos up or even emailing them. shall find the excitement to first.

it's been a few days since the new year... i started monday 4th jan not really the right way, not optimistic. been boggled down by many things in my head. every bits and pieces.

ytd 5th jan, tues, was better. and it'll get better...

sets in...

2009-12-14T07:23:00.003+08:00

i am, but myself. i know i exists for people. (half) my reason, suddenly, seems missing. i feel like i cant do anything anymore. i will, but i don't live truly by my motto.

reality sets in even more now, sinks into the thick skull. no rhyme, no reason, no justification. it is, in no sense anymore.

i will not find a rebound, like what you've said. but worse off, i don't think i'll get emotionally attached to anyone even when i date. cuz i can't bring myself to go through this sort of draining process. it hurts. and maybe, just maybe, no one will make me feel this same way of elation.

materialistically, time and money may tell. but deep inside, i know my answer. and i wish i know yours. and how i wish even more that i can tell the future. you know how i like to read- front, middle n end; sometimes, i just skip the middle.

i just feel empty now. i don't know how now. i am lost.

for you.

2009-12-14T01:20:00.005+08:00

Alcohol, take care of yourself and keeping your words.

Some 3 things that appears to be difficult to do, esp the first 2.

Suddenly, i feel very lost at this moment. like what i said, i feel so much but i cant put the right words to the feelings. it's like a turmoil inside. it's like a tornado. i didn't tear as much as anyone else would normally do, but it's the inner massive destruction that hasn't been expressed outward yet. it'll definitely take some time to be. and if that happens, i think no one and nothing can stop me. emotional wreck. right now, i know my face is blanked out. featureless. sad.

i'll never forget how it feels like to be sitting there, just before the "meyer rd" sign. that place will never be the same again. sitting there talking abt the break-up, talking abt the past and future. i wished i could stay there the whole night, for i know that we'll not do that again. i never knew how you felt all, i guess i nv will.

i know you read this blog, it'll be nice to see your comments sometime k? call me out for a coffee sometimes. i'll try to do the same. try. emo sms minimal. u gotta stick around anw.

thank you, calvin. for the happy and sad times, for going the ups and downs with me. for making my life colourful. at the very least, you make me happy. you make me smile. you make me realise i can be a better person. at least i know, i can be important to someone. i can make ppl change. and i love you, always do.

it's not going to be easy. everywhere i go, everything i see, esp in my room, i see things of us. memories of us. i'll try to let go, *shakes head* not gg to be an easy task. u have half of me, letting go half of myself feels not right. every night, my bears and stitches i have to see, reminds me of us. i guess i stubbornly will not put them away.

well, we'll enjoy this trip tog, try to. i dno how to face you and your parents. i dno how to appear in front of them. what should i do, tell me please?

there is, a future for us, to be seen or predicted?

will not be, will never be?

deep inside, i'm hoping it'll be, will be.

and you think.

2009-12-05T17:53:00.006+08:00

After gym on tues, i was talking to my sis while in the changing room. later, she texted me and she mention:

Just cherish and grow. Those who give u chances despite ur failings are those who truly understand u.

I have been pondering on it whenever i see the sms. Feelings within me, i can't explain. And while packing my table, i came across the envelope which i scribbled lots of things on. Sth that hit me qt abit was changes must come from within. You must first want to change.

Sis smsed before the previous msg, Don't stress yourself on unnecessary stuff. Time is precious so cherish and put all ur best on the best things in life! Everything has it's reasons and purpose... ;)

I'll leave it open-ended. But truly, smiles abound the sadness. you'll understand it then.

Happy am i to spend time with you. be it just a tan and a movie and a quick breakkie. and to solve the qn after your given clue, real cool, delighted.

I wish i knew God's reasons and plans. Albeit not knowing, we all live lives still figuring it. Auntie Anne told me to enjoy the holiday, i can't rmb what preluded to it. thinkthinkthink.

PS: happy birthday nana (: hope you are doing alright there...

winner at a losing game.

2009-12-03T23:47:00.003+08:00

by Rascal Flatts

Baby, look here at me
Have you ever seen me this way?
I've been fumblin' for words
Through the tears and the hurt and the pain.
I'm gonna lay it all out
On the line tonight.
And I think that it's time
To tell this uphill fight goodbye.

Chorus:
Have you ever had to love someone
That just don't feel the same?
Tryin' to make somebody care for you
The way I do
Is like tryin' to catch the rain.
And if love is really forever,
I'm a winner at a losin' game.

I know that baby, you've tried
To find me somewhere inside of you.
But, you know you can't lie
girl you can't hide the truth.oh noo
Sometimes two hearts
Just can't dance to the same beat.
So I'll pack up my things,
And I'll take what remains of me.

(CHORUS)

BRIDGE:
I know that I'll never be the man that you need or love
Yeah, baby it's killin' me to stand here and see
I'm not what you've been dreamin' of

(CHORUS)

Oh, oh, oh, if love is really forever
I'm a winner at a losin' game!

Oh, oh im tired of losin'

----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

It has this country feel, with very lovely beat and lyrics. wow. but i hear and looked outta window, of the bus and train and everything with the transparent thing. And i wonder what's it supposed to feel really. is it like this, or is it sth else? i kept thinking, but to no avail. i cant figure what i really feel. perplexed.

manyathinking.

2009-12-03T09:29:00.005+08:00

I lost my motivation to even wake up, so my body sleeps for long. like way longer than it's supposed to be. it's bad, it could be as long as 10hrs. i used to sleep like that, yes, but i got used to even jus 5hrs. anw, sleeping is a pleasure.

Nana's back to Philippines and we're to get everything tog at home altogether. but i feel closer to my family- gg gym with terri, having dinner with mommy and daddy, taking time to even just chat with sherri for half an hour before rushing off. you know, these small activities do help.

I heard your voice, all chirpy and upbeat, got me feeling happy. got me thinking... but i'll keep what i thought out of blog. i'm just happy for you to be happy. cuz it is impt to me. SIGH.

I asked Auntie for the itinerary for the trip cuz i wanna visit cousin in London! but she told me that will probably confirm at the tour agency on fri. requested to revert the plans AND cost then. Then she told me that we'll speak soon and goodnight. Ouhkay. Friday's tml. heh! And no, i wouldn't give you even half of it, Calvin, you wish harder okay!

Got a jab for my rash last night. I'll rather a jab than a slower curing oral medicine. Anw, doc said it's probably allergy (don't know to what) but triggered by either food or mosquito bite while in Tg Pinang. Since sun when i was back.

Tg Pinang was destressing. Lovely night sky i have to sky! too bad, couldn't take the halo over the moon. oh well, no choice, camera din allow. but it was pretty awesome! diving trips should be the same as well, i reckon! yay! can't wait can't wait.

Still thinking should i go zoukout or not. Pretty pricey things for a clubbin event sorta. well, and it's okay free and char that i know gg. not much of motivation or things to look out for leh. well, still thinking.... ....

okay, waiting for sherri reply me on where the cable to the LG phone is. i wanna upload the jab photo to fb! my first jab outside mandatory grounds k!! =P was so excited that my doc allowed and posed for me la, so cute eh! well then, much said, listening to music and online when i'm to study my MM. Back to paper pages now. Cya!

xoxo,

cherri

PS: i dno how to go gym with a weak left arm. crap! =\ oh and L4D2 is out LONG ago and i havent use the frying pan or guitar to whack zombies!! RARR!!

i'm sorry.

2009-11-30T03:05:00.000+08:00

2009-11-28T02:57:00.003+08:00

i wish i didn't feel emo the whole day, then i guess i would have enjoyed my day even more. while waiting for my friend to pick me up, after camwhoring, i decided to view my past photos. I watched the videos we took. Laughed so hard at this particular one which was taken in the Cathy. With the two bears. so farnie, i laughed so hard and had to repeat it at least 3 times.

But i felt worse after that. Cuz it made me realise how i really miss times tog, miss you.

RARR.

miss you...

listen.

2009-11-25T23:58:00.003+08:00

and there i sat, listening to the music being played. and on comes jason mraz... twice.

i so wanted to send you a msg, a part of the lyrics. but i held back.

i rmb we said not to send emo msges.

i listened on, sang along, thinking of the good times while i indulged in b&j.

and since i cant send such unconventional smses, i can only say it here.

that i miss holding your arm and hand.

that i miss you. havent seen you, your face, your smell.

i wonder if you do too.

and lovely lyrics you shared, i just dl-ed the songs. shall listen later.

i wonder if you miss me too...

yue ding.

2009-11-08T10:55:00.003+08:00

Listening to the piano start, it brought me back to the familiar tune i've heard when i'm at a bar. (most of the newer chinese songs i hear them in bars... and i learnt them there too.) Like shifted paradigm, i time-traveled back to those instances in bars. Especially those sweet times. Those times you did things that made me smile. Those times i hear songs that nearly make me tear.

You told me that you wanna cry cuz of this song. i told you dont cause i will before you. And i know certainly i will....

And listening again to the song, reading the words... Tears welled up... oh well...

Life's been crazy... the weird colourful. but it's not the colourful that i want...

sometimes love comes around.

2009-11-05T02:11:00.005+08:00

i'm glad it was the earphone that was problematic, not the mp3 player. i've been waiting and trying to see if it's the player. finally, tried on with another earphone and found the root of it. i would have been very upset to know my belated present would be spoilt just abt a month with me, you know. and especially knowing myself being sentimental, it would have been rather devastating. Thank God.

I've got too many things to do, too little time. Someone just help me out maybe? My 24hrs is already maxed out (just like the credit limit of a credit card). I don't seem to sleep enough now, unless i'm forced to. perhaps that's why i like sleeping over at his place. anw, i guess i feel like doing the procrastinated stuff like packing up my table... i'll most probably end up sleeping in class later. or maybe during bfc as well.

I really feel like going on a hiatus. Cold wintery holiday. mmm... the sound of it is rather yummy hurhur. But really, i do hope so. Tanjong Pinang should be a good start, hopefully.

Sometimes ignorance is a bliss yet ironically, human are curious. and curiosity kills the cat. Some thoughts or events can be heart-wrenching when thought upon. Even songs i used to love saddens me. Eyelid twitches, refusal to continue. But i press on to face it. Blame me for being stubborn. But i'm persistent. I believe what i want to believe in unless you convince me. now, it isn't really that difficult to get me to your camp, if i see a reason to. That simple; just reason things out.

Okay, today ain't as bad as ytd. But we din get to blade today. But i got photos uploaded. Got work done. Sch work not done. Made people happy. Made others sad. Deep inside, i feel empty sometimes. But i struggle on. very mao dun at times, i admit.

At every stage and junction in life, we face different problems, different people. Ultimately, it says one thing. Determination to get to where you want to be.

And in life, i want to be happy.

iloveyou.

Watcha Say?

2009-10-30T10:52:00.004+08:00

You feel better this way without us quarrelling?

Sure, the big time quarrels got me suicidal. But I miss the small bickers. Those tsks. Those eye-gorging replies/ reactions. I think i can cope with everything else that's in my path. Doctor advised exercise and better slping n eating patterns/ habits. And my parents don't know what im going through. Sisters know about me seeing the doc only. Jogs help me to relieve/ destress.

Blading with you makes me smile. I think alot after those sessions. It's nice to see you happily blading fast, carefree. Teases. Talks. And the nature helps me think a little better than urbanized parts of this small dot. I'm better now, the wounds on my palms are healing pretty fast (: no worries. next time, i'll get the guards so that i can try stunts more daringly! =D

_watcha say?_____________

[Chorus]
wha- wha- wha- wha- what did you say
Mmmm whatcha say
Ooh that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say
(Jason Derulo)
Mmmm that it´s all for the best?
Because it is

[Verse 1]
I was so wrong for so long
Only tryin´ to please myself (myself)
Girl I was caught up in her lust
When I don´t really want no one else
So no I know I should of treated you better
But me and you were meant to last forever

[Hook]
So let me in (let me in) give me another chance (another chance)
To really be your man
Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out
I just didn´t know what to do
But when I become a star we´ll be living so large
I´ll do anything for you
So tell me girl

[Chorus]
Mmmm whatcha say
Ooh that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say
Mmmm that it´s all for the best?
Because it is
Mmmm whatcha say
Ooh that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say
Whatcha say (whatcha say)
wha- wha- wha- wha- what did she say?

[Verse 2]
How could I live with myself
Knowing that I let our love go (love go)
And ooh what I do with one chance
I just gotta let you know
I know what I did wasn´t clever
But me and you we´re meant to be together

[Hook]
So let me in (let me in) give me another chance (another chance)
To really be your man
Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out
I just didn´t know what to do
But when I become a star we´ll be living so large
I´ll do anything for you
So tell me girl

[Chorus]
Mmmm whatcha say
Ooh that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say
Mmmm that it´s all for the best?
Because it is
Mmmm whatcha say
Ooh that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say
Whatcha say (whatcha say)
wha- wha- wha- wha- what did she say?

[Verse 3]
Girl tell me what to say I (say I)
I don´t want you to leave me
Though you caught me cheatin´
Tell me tell me what to say I (say I)
I really need you in my life
Cuz things ain´t right girl

Tell me tell me what to say I (say I)
I don´t want you to leave me
Though you caught me cheatin´
Tell me tell me what to say I (say I)
I really need you in my life
Cuz things ain´t right

[Hook]
Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out
I just didn´t know what to do
But when I become a star we´ll be living so large
I´ll do anything for you
So baby whatcha say!

[Chorus]
Mmmm whatcha say
Ooh that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say
Mmmm that it´s all for the best?
Because it is
Mmmm whatcha say
Ooh that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say
Whatcha say (whatcha say)
wha- wha- wha- wha- what did she say?

2009-10-24T06:50:00.002+08:00

NOW I FKING UNDERSTAND WHAT HELPLESSNESS REALLY REALLY MEAN.

When you're up at 6.30am, saw 3 sms and a missed call all from the same person. and you really want punch yourself for not switching your phone to normal mode after you were ensured that he's fine. And then you called back only to find that you feel that you falling aslp didn't mean anything but crap. and you cant do anything at the moment to turn back 3hrs ago and that the person's not well and you cant drive all the way down. the least bit of consolation? he can take the cab and get home himself now. you feel rotten. i feel worse.

Evacuate the dancefloor.

2009-10-22T00:44:00.003+08:00

Turn up the music
Let's get out on the floor
I like to move it
Come and give me some more
Watch me gettin' physical
Out of control
There's people watchin' me
I never miss a beat

Steal the night
Kill the lights
Feel it under your skin
Time is right
Keep it tight
Cause it's pulling you in
Wrap it up
Can't stop cause it feels like an overdose
(Feels like an overdose)

Oh, oh, evacuate the dancefloor
Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound
Oh, oh, stop, this beat is killing me
[Hey, Dr.DJ let the music take me underground]

Everybody in the club
Evacuate the dancefloor
Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound
Everybody in the club
Stop, this beat is killing me
[Hey, Dr.DJ come burn this place right down to the ground]

My body's aching
System overload
Temperatures rising
I'm about to explode
Watch me I'm intoxicating taking the show
It's got me hypnotized
Everybody step aside

Steal the night
Kill the lights
Feel it under your skin
Time is right
Keep it tight
Cause it's pulling you in
Wrap it up
Can't stop cause it feels like an overdose
(Feels like an overdose)

Oh, oh, evacuate the dancefloor
Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound
Oh, oh, stop, this beat is killing me
[Hey, Dr.DJ let the music take me underground]

Everybody in the club
Evacuate the dancefloor
Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound
Everybody in the club
Stop, this beat is killing me
[Hey, Dr.DJ come burn this place right down to the ground]

Come on and evacuate
Feel the club is heating up
Move on and accelerate
Push it to the top
Come on and evacuate
Feel the club is heating up
Move on and accelerate
You don't have to be afraid

Now guess who's back with a brand new track
That got everybody in the club going mad
So everybody in the back
Get your back up on the wall and just shake that thang
Go crazy, yo lady, yo baby
Let me see you wreck that thang
And drop it down low, low
Let me see you take it to the dancefloor, yo

Everybody in the club
Evacuate the dancefloor
Everybody in the club
I'm infected by the sound
Everybody in the club
Stop, this beat is killing me
[Hey Dr.DJ let the music take me underground]

Oh, oh, evacuate the dancefloor
Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound
Oh, oh, stop, this beat is killing me
[Hey, Dr.DJ let the music take me underground]

Everybody in the club
Evacuate the dancefloor
Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound
Everybody in the club
Stop, this beat is killing me
[Hey, Dr.DJ come burn this place right down to the ground]

-----------------------------------------------

Stuck in my head. Upbeat maniac hurhurhur! =P

It's getting itchy here man! Go sleep, cherri, sleep!!

I had fun blading today. The peak of excitement? Nearly crashed into the huge board at the new skate park at ecp. thanks to calvin, he broke my fall before i fell. or i most prob would be having a broken nose now or ankle or so! thank you yo! =D and for the technical stuff on my lappie and mp3! =)) yay <3

cherri

Down.

2009-10-22T00:40:00.004+08:00

Baby are you down down down down down,
Down, Down,
Even if the sky is falling down,
Down, down
Ooh (ohhh)

You oughta know, tonight is the night to let it go,
Put on a show, I wanna see how you lose control,

So leave it behind 'cause we, have a night to get away,
So come on and fly with me, as we make our great escape.

So baby don't worry, you are my only,
You won't be lonely, even if the sky is falling down,
You'll be my only, no need to worry,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Down, Down,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Down, Down,
Even if the sky is falling down,

Just let it be, come on and bring your body next to me,
I'll take you away, hey, turn this place into our private getaway,

So leave it behind 'cause we, have a night to get away,
So come on and fly with me, as we make our great escape,
(So why don't we run away)

So baby don't worry, you are my only,
You won't be lonely, even if the sky is falling down,
You'll be my only, no need to worry,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Down, Down,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Down, Down,
Even if the sky is falling down,

(LiL Wayne)
Even if the sky is falling down like she 'posed to be,
She gets down low for me,
Down like her temperature, cause to me she zero degrees,
She cold, over freeze,
I got that girl from overseas,
Now she my miss America,
Now can I be her soldier please,
I'm fighting for this girl,
On a battlefield of love,
Don't it look like baby cupid sendin arrows from above,
Don't you ever leave the side of me,
Indefinitely, not probably,
And honestly I'm down like the economy,
Yeahhhhhh

So baby don't worry, you are my only,
You won't be lonely, even if the sky is falling down,
You'll be my only, no need to worry,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Down, Down,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Down, Down,
Even if the sky is falling down

------------------------

Pretty sweet, aint it? (:

and when...

2009-10-20T01:20:00.005+08:00

And just when i thought i could handle the world by myself,

i crumble into streams and rivers with uncontrollable shivers.

and when i thought i gathered myself already,

the arm which pulled me back from the door,

gathered me to my source of warm and love.

And the cycle continues... ...

What's more wonderful about it was that

pillows and bolsters fight we're bound to,

happy smacking physical pain we inflict each time

laughed and jeered with each try of cheat and mischief,

ended up with cold dark room of a bigger picture.

I held it all in without fail,

a try or two they had tried to fall,

strong-willed and prideful i am,

none of this ever came to my wildest dreams,

to fall into the arms i fell out of.

22nd yo.

2009-10-19T07:06:00.004+08:00

And i wish you a very happy birthday + 1 day today...

Well, for the wrong sized presents, they will be corrected. For the smiles and laughters, warmth of family, i hope you appreciated them all. Well, it's a consolation for me at least you enjoyed the cake. At least efforts seem to paid off. And see you smile, that's the most comforting reason to everything. that's the thank you that said it all.

And that's why i love celebrating birthdays. esp celebrating with and for the people you love. For when they smile and filled with happiness, the love goes around. Cuz that's what's most impt to me.

I learnt sth this morning... as much as i wanted you to rest cuz you sounded really in deep slp, i woke u up. i learnt not to decide for you; do things that have been agreed on and let you decide.

And i actually am glad i did so. Breakfast was simple yet sweet, lovely. Awesomely chocolatey; filled with warmth. xie xie ni, cal.

will enjoy the music on the way to sch... like soon... off i go to a very long day ahead. ciaos.

swt autumn night,

2009-10-16T09:46:00.004+08:00

Orgo is a nice place to hang out and chill. maybe the next time i go, i'll take the pretty angle that i adore- temperate climate looking trees in the background and the stylish indoor glasses in the foreground. pretty awesome chandelier black lights with reflections on the glasses. i dno how words can describe, the best is done by the picture. well, it says a thousand words, as the saying goes.

Someone once advised me to minimize myself from getting into a situation where i'll face rather head-banging problems as opposed to a heartache for a while. i know im someone who learns by experience so i'll rather face problems cuz i know i'll grow and take something back, be it a learning point or sth i need to improve. i guess sometimes it's how much i am open to it or just how long i learn from it.

sigh. but i must learn not to stereotype or anticipate the person's reaction. i think too much, i don't do what must or should be done. which turns out to be worse. note to self: fire and explosion analogy. i must learn to say no, esp when im uncomfortable with the suggestion and esp when it's emotional. i must learn to how keep to my word, esp so when things are small. as they say, small ones lead to bigger ones. i need to be more frank and less accommodating esp when it's too much to accommodate for.

yes, it's rather heart-wrenching to be in this position. but i felt that the solution we both settled on was good enough, better than what i personally would have given. there are things BOTH have to change, but i suppose ive got a lil more to do so.

Learning with an open mind, helps one to accept things easier. And grow faster as well. we all shouldnt give excuses to ourselves. be it quitting smoking, drinking.

come to think of it, some words that he used were rather hurtful. ideas were overwhelming. oh well. like what i believe, i don't blame someone esp when they have my best intentions at heart. sometimes i wish i can tell the person off for scolding/ chiding me. but i cant, i wun.

lavish stuff, no one will complain too much of it. but the cable box is down. i dno why, i'll try to fix it. again =\

there are things a friend should do and shouldn't do. im sry if im rather quiet or aloof last night, i cant put my heart at it the same way. that's how it is when you have a choice. i love to spend time with your family, they have a place in my heart as so do you, without a doubt and needless to say. esp esp you, your mom and dajie. and your dad. and breeze. and steph. and the hamster. and the bonsai potato. and stitch and the puppet dolls. but i dn think i will drop by on my own accord for dinner with you all unless someone requests.

anw e soln will allow us to do our own things, grow at our own speed... i can focus on more things as well; work, family, friends, dance. and we will be happier, less the head-on madness. i want to be the amazing person in my loved ones' lives.

life is SO unpredictable. i received a msg from alvin tan. it was sent by his bro. it read that alvin had a heavy head injury but due to low bp, they cant operate on him and chances of him surviving is really slim. my heart sank. i wanted to sms alvin on tues, asking how is he and all cuz i havent spoken to him for a long while. and now, this. he's only 30 for God's sake.

always ppl ask me how i get my energy from... i always am busy, with lack of sleep but still hype up even through the day and night... my ans? i don't know. i know i seem to have a abundance of it from internally. it helps when you're happy. it does. Happiness fills you positively, gets you going. smile. tiny hops a walk. my happiness now? at least i know i have ppl who loves me. i know i have to carry on with life, being better. having to improve, reaching my goals. it's tough sometimes, yes, very much. but when you know someone out there is concern about you, you feel better. you truly live on... ...

im sry that this all have to happen when your bday is here. esp when it's the same for last year. im truly sry abt it. but i do hope you'll enjoy yourself in your drinking and partying nonetheless.
as long as you're happy... ...

iloveyou.

2009-10-14T02:03:00.003+08:00

curry rice was nice. lan was fun. but what's fun when your companion isn't one?

i wanted to type how much i enjoyed myself ytd... how much i enjoyed my day and night...

not tonight not tonight.

----------------------------------

lying on my sofa, dark it is. under my quilt, lonely it feels.

where's right here by my side when you need someone, but your bear?

i feel crappy, belittled it seems. though others see otherwise, the one who i cares for most doesn't.

im thinking hard on the repercussions, left and right... back and forth...

i wish God would hint to me.ie

i'd rather suffer from too much happiness.

2009-10-09T03:47:00.002+08:00

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." - Woody Allen

2009-10-08T01:17:00.004+08:00

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who had been called according to his purpose" - Romans 8: 28

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest" - Matthew 11:28

"God is always for you and that he who begins a good work in you will perfect it till the day of Christ" - Philipians 1:6

"Opportunity presents itself for those who are prepared for it."
"Encourage even the smallest positive change in a person... and not criticise or condemn"

Faith is the substance of things hoped for and unseen. Only when you trust even without a need to 'see' then will you begin to understand and trust.

travail d'amour

2009-10-07T02:02:00.002+08:00

Desmond shared this on facebook:

travail d'amour... (Labour of Love...)

Sun at 6:26am

It takes two hearts to form a picture,

And many pieces of it to create fractures,

But fractures as it may sound,

It can always be fixed all around.

To be apart may sometimes fix thy hearts,

It matters when together again comes thy hearts,

Do not be fooled when being apart,

Shall not be tempted to stay apart.

For when two hearts come together again,

Thy Love will be ever stronger than seastorms of rain.

Withstand this agonizing test of time,

And Fruits of Love thou shall reap in time.

with smiles.

2009-10-03T03:28:00.003+08:00

Slept in. Body couldn't take 20hrs on 3hrs of slp. not for a long time.

Sent mooncakes over to Cal's. couldnt get the 4 flavours one from fairmont, so ended up with baileys... anw since he likes it, it's good. hahaha if not no one will eat. Went to catch Surrogate with Calvin at Kallang Leisure. Rather thought provoking movie. About us human missing out on the human touch. How everything seem so perfect in the surrogate world albeit the machinery. hmm... ...

Arcade. stuffed toys and daytona. got thrashed =( din know can drift one! pretty impressed actually! hahaha oh well, next time i'll try! =) heh, coconut head was kidnapped. cant believe i dont remember indiana jones. i couldnt match the movie title to the theme song that i randomly sang omg even after tons of hints. No wall, just pole hahaha.

Went Cyberdome at Le Meridien to find Freesia, Charissa and Joe. Couldn't find the place. So ulu. Played L4D. I've never played with other friends except Calvin. Once, joined another 2 players for advance mode. But other than that, i've always had guidance from him. Haha, so come just now, couldn't find the place and all. hahaha. I thought i was bad...! then Cal came and Killing Floor seems rather cool. Quote him, " Killing Floor is like L4D meet CS". HAha mutated beings and monsters with load of weapons that you can purchase. And weld. wth. Katana seems rather nice. but nth beats the thought of chainsaw. whee!

had supper with them and john. talked qt a bit and yup i drove a manual van back to my place!! Whee. Poor john and joe. haha so bad, they laughed at me so much. lack of practise is so embarrassing =( got too used to auto cars alr and come to think of it, i've never drove a manual car out to the express way and town! wow.

alright, gotta be in bed now. hv to be up by 7.15 latest. LONG day later! work trg, sch, (thinkin of wad in between), church svc (first time gg! to my sisters' svc), butter (most prob i think). it's mid-autumn festival today!! ahhaha must eat the rabbit mooncupcake with my family! =)

i had fun today and night. thank you all (:

Fame.

2009-10-01T04:05:00.003+08:00

The movie, reminded me of how much i miss the performing arts. How much i hold dearly arts is to me. How i miss dance. It is a good way to remind us all that we have talents in us that are yet to be discovered and it's only you, met with the opportunities, that can unleash them.

It reminded me also that life isn't easy and trying times are events that help us grow. Whenever we take a step back, we also move ahead even further and faster than we already are. But the only person who can hinder you from growing, is yourself. So, persist and be reminded of your reason why you are there.

God doesn't throw obstacles at us that are too difficult to overcome. It's us who make it difficult. He presents difficulties that are manageable for our souls to grow as we overcome the obstacles. He shows us the way with signs, be it dreams, people or verses. Even feelings are too.

Job is a book of trials and tribulations that we can seek enlightenment from, while Proverbs helps us to remember how we should lead our lives. Men and women are different in the eyes of the Lord.

I'll grow and learn and overcome difficulties... i shall not be defeated. i must be strong and have faith. to see myself through.

2009-10-01T03:57:00.003+08:00

"Behold, this is the joy of His way,

And out of the earth others will grow.

Behold, God will not cast away the blameless,

Nor will He uphold the evildoers.

He will yet fill your mouth with laughing,

And your lips with rejoicing.

Those who hate you will be clothed with shame.

And the dwelling place of the wicked will come to nothing"

- Job 8:19- 22

2009-09-23T17:40:00.001+08:00

We loved with a love that was more than love. ~Edgar Allan Poe

first days.

2009-09-23T01:48:00.007+08:00

First day of work and school... Din go work, went to see doc. couldnt drag myself outta bed, slept late, couldnt slp. seen the doc. had mc. got to sch late. bachata perf, so got myself a long toilet break ahaha. went to see the sports recruitment too. level 4 hall. saw dajie n janice. was first on their recruitment list. right. though i miss dance, i wanna try sth new. bring out the athletic part of me.

long day... 12 to 6.30. CF then ESAP. the latter was boring. like YAWNS. dang.

ended ESAP early before 6pm. Took 75 to tg pagar. fell aslp on the bus. wow. anw walked to chinatown. met calvin for dinner. porridge place. had raw fish n veg. and peanut butter and jelly brownie from P.Osh that he bought. very nice blend. went to katong to play l4d. normal mode. 2hrs.

Daunt. Vexed. Flustered.

I dno how to face him.. the nearer i was to chinatown, the more i wanna turn away cuz i dno what to expect. But when i saw him, everything seemed like it used to. made me guess the flavour of brownie all the way to the porridge place. things and time that made me laugh and smile. When you held my hands, i felt like everything's serene. and for the first time these days, i dn feel blue. i wanted it to not end.

I will make my chicken stew later. i know i wannna cook it. i know also that if it makes someone happy, i will go out to do so. i sometimes dno why i will do so too. but when i see that smile and elation and ecstatic and excitement, everything seemed worth putting the effort and going all out for. as long as i feel appreciated, i'm happy too.

2009-09-22T04:24:00.003+08:00

Whenever i hear the horn of the ship vessels out at sea off the east shores, i'm reminded of how close i was to the sea and beach... how close i was to you.

take the lead.

2009-09-22T03:50:00.002+08:00

If you trust the guy to lead, you're trusting him... and yourself.

Maybe i haven't been trusting myself that i can do what i set my mind to, that's why i don't get the results that i want and need. I have to.

Dance is about teamwork and respect.

Similar to a relationship. Both parties need to compromise and work together, not apart. Respect the decisions and see the reasons behind them.

I was watching Take The Lead. Though i fell asleep, i caught half of it in total. I miss dancing. i love the confidence i had. i need it back in me, in my life. that's me. i have to find it back bad.

dead.

2009-09-21T17:07:00.002+08:00

just kill me.

im not thinking.

i suffering from insomnia.

nth's of interest anymore. not even chocolate.

my bear is my best friend. my comfort (minimal to speak of).

no point trying to think, my brain's dead and so is my heart atm.

leaving myself alone (or in front of the tv) is not a good thing.

i feel drained.

i know i have to find myself. i know i have to reflect and think. but i dont have the energy to do anything already. i jus wanna lie in bed right now. slp and slp. and slp.

i feel like disappearing now. period.

sickly blue.

2009-09-17T00:26:00.005+08:00

=( im sick. my throat's scratchy itchy. maybe cuz it's in the night... and so i'll start coughing! so my nose is pretty blocked now. hate that feeling cuz i cant get sufficient air into my brain. feels qt f-up. now, the world's outside and im stuck indoor. in cal's house with the tv, breeze and the com. so much for my last day of clubbing. i can start work minus unit trust already. So i gotta brush up on my stuff and the worse is im being pressured now to get things done by this week.

sheesh. free, mei and cheryl are at zirca, and what's most saddening is that this is the last wk for her in sg before she flies back to uk.

cal, alex, louis, brandon and brandon's girl are at butter. i was supposed to go with peiwen to club tonight regardless of venue. oh well, gotta do so next time then.

i wanted to be rebellious and go against what calvin said. "go n dont ever come back", "go back home", etc when i was telling alex on the phone abt me wanting to go club. i was just that inch closer to doing so but i guess im glad i didn't cuz i know he has good intention of making me stay home. cuz i really needed my rest and that im not feeling well. but saying those were really harsh. Leveraging on my dad (even without his "permission") is still way nicer than saying those in " ". honestly, it rings in my mind. must have been pretty bad/ traumatic to have sth leave a deep impression esp when it stays in the head. wasn't THAT upset but if his tone was a lil meaner, im sure i would have strong-headed/ stubbornly done sth foolish like agreeing and grab my stuff outta room. honestly, im really relieved that i was clear-headed enough to think.

Sometimes it's really tough to "just say/ tell me whatever you think" cuz i know if i do so, i'm really screaming out for trouble. i could have told him off many a times how nasty/ ridiculous/ horrendous/ utter absurd he was, but i chose not to do so atm. cuz by screaming out for negative attention is the worst move. esp with friends around. for example, ytd with alex and gang, he took my an pan jap pancake and refused to return to me. even after shoving it in my face twice asking if i want, didn't make me move an inch/ reply after the first time i couldn't get it back. and it was only when the pancake was half eaten that it was on the table, in front of me. i really wanted to just leave it there when we were leaving. it definitely would have brewed a storm cuz of my strong-headedness. but, i believe in a relationship, we give and take and complement. no point fighting with someone who was just hungry yet teasing. SIGH. cuz i think he tolerated me as much as i do. i dno how to judge quantity but at least i know of examples to back me up with.

he has his moodiness, i have my randomness. both are nonsense lar. but i enjoy times when we both laugh and smile and tease and bicker and at the end of the day, they are memories that keep us going... think back and smile. for we've been thru really happy ones. we say the same thing, we laughed at each other, we poke fun at one another...

Come to think of it, it took me a long while to be able to laugh at myself. cuz sometimes, i do the most silly stuff, say the most silly things, coin the weirdest words. but the egotistical me gets the better of me still... hmm.

Michelle just asked on my wall if i wanna go butter this sat. well, we'll see abt that again after i ask calvin.

ytd was real hectic man travelling up and down is more than costly. it's draining.
went killiney at pomo for my breakkie then ps to withdraw money to pay my sch fee which is where i headed next. then rushed to parkview for trg. later went back to orchard to meet calvin and alex and friends. was pretty tired already but went for a game of left4dead.

And that was what left me tossing and turning in bed cuz of the scenes in the game. normal mode was tougher. and 2hrs of it did pass by real quickly. yet the images stayed vividly in my mind. nice, so nice. i was so tempted to occupy the space next to cal (which somehow he asked me mins before that he's gonna leave space for me. i dno his reason. but seemed pretty psychic huh!). but no, i din have the heart to wake the already-fast-asleep him up. good gracious me...

im feeling all blue. sian, gotta be up early later at 9am so gotta get to bed soon to recuperate anw. see you all later then world.

love,
me

simple things that make me smile.

2009-09-15T01:54:00.006+08:00

Hello,
shall keep this short cuz it's really hot to be in a sweater when it isn't cold. Anw, had a pretty long day out but it's pretty enjoyable.

Went with cal to see his timetable then got soya bean drink from selegie soy bean. we went ps to pretty much hang ard. time passed pretty fast as we window shopped. walked back to selegie and green tea frappe from starbucks became my companion along with Allan and Barbara Pease's Body Language. Awesome book that's taking me uber long to finish cuz i dn wanna miss out any details.

Had dinner at the jap place at Pomo. Before that, we went to the toy-catching machine (do you even have a name for them?!) Anw $2 for 2 Scrump. Caught one each try. Omg i was laughing pretty hard cuz the 2nd one, the clip got caught with the side of the toy. Anw dinner was fried salmon skin, yummy chicken drumstick and curry rice with pork n chicken.

This is Scrump. Lilo's toy in the movie. <3 btw, this is not my actual pic.

Hopped down to Ion Orchard and gave aishah a visit at topshop. A&W diet soda from marketplace. Caught The Time Traveller's Wife at Cineleisure.

I felt pretty sad cuz well, one is that the wife has to bear the death and all of the guy. secondly, everytime he travels through time, he may be gone for pretty long and the worse is the uncertainty of being in danger. it's daunting i have to admit. it's that kind of heart-wrenching but simple kinda love. It's a show worthwhile to catch. Which also reminds me that i should go read the book. hmm, like all other books i have yet to complete. or touch for that matter.

That one hour before the movie... Left4dead. Omg i couldn't imagine myself actually being pretty calm less the one off scream. Yeah i know it's on easy mode. But still, i have a sense of accomplishment. haha sue me for cheap pleasure.

To summarize, i love spending time with you, Calvin. Simple things that make me smile. yay. hearts you hun! love.

xoxo, me

My girl.

2009-09-03T06:07:00.002+08:00

I've got sunshine
On a cloudy day.
When it's cold outside,
I've got the month of May.

Well, I guess you'll say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl. (My girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl. (My girl)

I've got so much honey
The bees envy me.
I've got a sweeter songThan the birds in the trees.

Well, I guess you'll say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl. (My girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl. (My girl)

Ooooh, Hoooo.

Hey, hey, hey.
Hey, hey, hey.

I don't need no money,
Fortune or fame.
I've got all the riches, baby,
One man can claim.

Well, I guess you'll say
What can make me feel this way?
My girl. (My girl, my girl)
Talkin' 'bout my girl. (My girl)

Talkin' bout my girl.
I've got sushine on cloudy day
With my girl.
I've even got the month of May With my girl.

--------------------------------------------------

i suddenly started singing this song.... well, for a lil while when im supposed to be pretty much trying to slp. cant help but wanna check out the whole lyrics you see... yay i can slp now.

xoxo,
cherri

pouts

2009-09-01T23:09:00.004+08:00

I checked my results online. and now, i'm thinking very much of what is the right step to take next. Should i take an extra year to do 5, 2 subjects. Or should i just do 7 subs in one year?

I know the consequences behind both decisions. But still i'm undecided at the moment of which is the better way to go about with my academics.

I went for a jog just now and the cool weather helped me to last longer but still, i feel as bad. I've snacked qt a bit today already and i guess a swim and tan tml may probably help even more. Ultimately, i know myself better i guess. I just have to cope with more things.

I have to improve my time management alot this time round... to juggle with work, studies, family and calvin. Hmm... i gotta give it a proper think through this time around. cuz it's pretty much a make or break instance.

I did think about changing unis as well but... maybe that would be the last thing i should consider.

Sigh i cant help but sigh. My camera's not working and it's not helping either since i love to take my surroundings esp my food. Oh well. Hopefully outing with steph tml, shopping and dinner will take my mind off a little. I'm thinking of gg to butter or sth... have a drink with steph and listen music. but will see lar.

Maybe trying new recipes will help. hmm. haven't tried making sth in ages already. saw freesia's try in chocolate cheesecake. looks pretty good i must say (:

anyway, i shall go read my articles now. cant type too loudly, cuz it's distracting for the guy working behind me.

Swim and tan here i come yay.

ciaos,
cherri

Note to self

2009-08-28T01:06:00.003+08:00

it's been an awful late night ytd. but what can i say for i found trouble myself.
i love how the thunder sounds- terrifying yet calming at the same time. For this is what i need. it's not a glamorous thing to say what happened last night but i wanna state it down to rmb. to look back. And afterall, to note to myself how ashaming i can be to myself, to those who love me, to those who care for me.

I don't want to lose someone who loves me just because of my stupor. It's not worth it.
I don't want to disappoint those who love me, esp Calvin, anymore than i have cuz it's all too silly.
I don't want to be trouble to those around me.

I wanna speak up more. I must learn to take care of myself more. I must never forget that drinking sorrows is not the best thing. And if im feeling unhappy, not to drink and club.

I must give more love care and laughter to those around me, not tears anger and disappointment.

And it's better to speak out cuz no matter how one looks, he is listening. It's better to face it than to keep it within me and drown it on drinking.

I need to grow up more. I need to be more independent and responsible.

I now know who to turn to talk as well. So, when i need to talk to someone (also means i need to speak up!!), i better turn to those who are genuinely concern.

--------------------------------------------------------------------

I've been stuck on this song for a while now... i guess it's worth a lyrics mention in my entry. i nearly teared while listening to it just now on the bus journey to town to meet alex brandon and ruth with calvin. had a gd time laughing but i know through everything, they are ppl i dn wanna trouble them everytime cuz they're a buncha nice concerned ppl. and it's not fair to them even so to have them take care of me. anw here goes...

Black Eyed Peas- Alive.

[ will.i.am ]
I got so much love
For you darlin' and i,
I wanna let you know how I feel

And its true that I love you
And it's true your the only one and I do,
I adore you
And its true girl
You make me feel alive ive ive ive 4x

[Fergie]
You said - you said - you said
That im the only one
You said that im your number 1
Now your gone and I feel numb
Tell me where do we go wrong
You are my best friend and boyfriend
Now its seems like you're my worst friend
I gotta do soul searching
Without you im a whole different person
I aint acting like I used to
I don't feel loved like I used to
It was your love I was used to
Why do I had to lo-lo-lo-lose
Your love your love your love
Your love is what it was
That have me feeling **bust**
***you are my true love***

[will.i.am]
And its true that I love you
And it's true your the only one and I do
I adore you
And its true girl

You make me feel alive ive ive ive 4x
Hey girl ur the only one
**must** be my number one
Now your gone I feel so numb
Tell me how do we go wrong
First friends then we became best-friend
You used to be my girlfriend
Now your my worst friend
Yeah I gotta do a lil soul searching
Without you im a whole different person

I don't even act like I used to
I don't even feel loved like I used to
I guess its your love that I used to
And I feel bad that I lose you
I get so many things that I wanna sa-sa-sa-sa...
I guess this mean that im missing you
Sorry for the things that I did to you
Im so lost without you

[will.i.am]
And its true that I love you
And it's true your the only one and I do,
I adore you
And its true girl

U make me feel alive ive ive ive 4x
I got so much love
...i adore u and its true girl
You make me feel alive ive ive ive 4x

[taboo]
So easy to fall in love with u
And all the things that u do
Baby girl ur so remarkable
So special, so wonderful
So special, so wonderful
So special, so wonderful

Baby girl ur so remarkable

A rainy morning...

2009-08-10T06:56:00.004+08:00

Well, firstly i know i haven't blogged in ages- not because i don't have anything to blog but guess i'm just too lazy to. There are many pretty eventful ones but for the past weeks, i've been battling within myself what to do with changing companies that it affected my overall emotion. And that itself doesn't help very much with other stuff going on in my life.

I spent my first national day away from home. I rmb how my mom will be all excited to watch the live broadcast on the teevee and we'll all wait patiently for that 5mins- 15mins tops- firework from our windows. This year, i spent national day with calvin's family; sunday family dinner at wahiro. It's some fun to share food, talk and laugh at whatever that's being said and observed then. food's awesome, above that the company made dinner light-hearted (: sho nice!

Grocery shopping!! boo no chips for me this round cuz i was tied to his arm. once freed, i run wild at the same row only. lol!! but i like it when im stuck in this pocket, holding hands. xP

Watched sg idol later when back at his place. funny people: guy with high pitch, sg A(h)vril lavigne, all the lookalikes etc. Steph, Auntie Anne, Calvin and I had some good laughter. Ridiculous people. Can't wait to watch the next episode, honestly.

It's a public holiday today. For a monday even, it's really early to be out of bed. I woke up an hour ago and now, i can't seem to want to sleep cuz it's raining. I lied in bed, listened really hard and found that it's RAINING! Not quite a good start for those who have outdoor plans on a public hol. I love morning rains like this especially when i can slack and stay in bed. But i felt more like blogging instead of staying in bed. So here i am, in front of the com with a mug (not the stitch one, Calvin!! =0 ) typing away. I enjoy the loud pour of the rain outside, don't get me wrong cuz i do miss such days even if it woke me up.

Went to catch GI Joe on sat with melvin jaime alex and calvin at the grand cathy on sat. Very seldom do you get a 2hr movie feeling that it's only an hr and a half! Mei's house was a walk away from paragon and i din know how to go so poor alex and calvin were tugged behind. Well then, social house with the guys plus freesia and peiwen was alright. But the crowd was terrible! the place was SOo0o empty. disappointed! well, i guess the "feelings talk" went pretty fine. I really do wanna learn how to speak my feelings out. And im still learning to. Cuz sometimes when i say something really frank, it may go brutally honest and blunt it'll be as well. So technically, i'm learning how to be more tactful as well. Thank you peiwen and alex for your help. I know those long smoking sessions were sth but i dno what.

And i meant it much when i say that im glad we didn't give up learning from one another cuz in such circumstances, sometimes it's easier to just give everything up. But im not ready to. cuz you mean alot to me. and i could have let go even cuz im the one being squeezed. and i was really disheartened when jason texted me that you were not well. and you could have let go too cuz of how insensitive i was. but im truly heartened that we trashed things out and hold onto each other stronger with open minds. Once again, im sorry calvin and that we all learn from everything, big and small.

Oh yes, caught Up! with Calvin and his school friends on thurs. *points!* <- that's what the talking dog does! Darn cute! and the giant bird which loves chocolate. "good morning sir. may i assist you ... ..." the little boy is cute too hahahaha. "Will you be my prisoner please?" asked the talking dog to the giant bird. omg! Da jie went camping with janice and friends in Msia. And i miss camping. Those outdoor survival instincts. And nature. And wilderness. I wanna go outdoor cooking, rafting, pioneering etc ! Rarr rarr!!!

I wanna thank my daddy for being there for me. one liner says alot huh =x

Well then, cherri's signing off with a sore throat no matter how much i hydrate myself one hour later...
going back to bed! =P

girls.

2009-07-15T23:59:00.005+08:00

I wish we had stayed as close as we did in sec sch days through our poly/jc days. But im glad we still have the same lingo, frequency and best of all, we laugh chat and enjoy ourselves tog! =)

Chrissy came back from Aussieland on mon. Sorry babe, i was really engrossed in getting the slippers that i wanted to get on with it all. im really glad to have you back in sg for a while at least. SUPPER on tues! =)

After much walkwalkwalk and "decisiveness", dinner at spageddies was good followed by dessert at canele. Awesome food, even more fantastic company! =D heh talk abt the bitching and sharing. YAY. love!

HMPH. Im angry with you calvin phang. spam my blog with ~~"spam"!!~~ "spam!!"

Some people are just anal abt it =PP

my cranberry cream bun.

2009-07-10T23:46:00.009+08:00

Somehow somedays don't feel like others.

Sometimes, somehow you feel like you've never been there before.

Others, make you feel dejavu.

I haven't been blogging, not that there isn't anything to blog.

But it's that i just dont feel like blogging.

There aren't stuff to rant about,

There aren't events to share with.

Anyway, congrats to Calvin on getting his license on his first attempt! (:

Ecstatic i was for him, though he din really seemed on the surface.

Ice age 3 is pretty an awesome show! i enjoyed the plot and storyline. i like the characters and colours. Peaches! Been watching Resident Evil 1 and 2. haha and cal commented that luckily din watch in the cinema or i would have scared him big time. lol.

I'm supposed to be aslp abt an hour ago since i've got a full day of work at suntec convention. Then at night to celebrate melvin's bday. sheesh. dont ask me how i can tolerate. i dno. i just need to slp now. like at this moment.

Cal,

There are so many things i wanna say sometimes that no matter how random they are, i would.

And i just wanna thank you for being there for me, to cut the long story short.

I've got much in my head to think about that i think i have lower tolerance towards you. I rmb reacting pretty nasty to my sis over the phone cuz she sounded all fussed up. I guess i must control my temper abit more despite much in my mind. and a lil kinder will help too aight.

Sometimesireadthemsgesinmyhp,thinkabtandbackabtus.Alltheupsanddownsmakemefeelalot. Butwhatmakesmefeelmostfortunateis2haveyouwithme,sharingmyjoys, andsupportiveyouarewheni'mlowandthinky. I'mgladthaticanbetheretoseeyousmile,shareyourupsanddowns. Andattheendofeday,iknowicanbeabetterpersonbecauseofyou. youseldomputyourfeelingsoutfrontaswell,butihopeyoufeelthesamecuziknowwheniseeyousmile. :)

i've got nth much to type atm so goodnight world.

cherri.

Knock you down.

2009-06-22T15:42:00.004+08:00

Heh, not again
Ohh, this ain't supposed to happen to me

Keep rockin', and keep knockin'
Whether you Louis Vuitton it up or Reebokin'
You see the hate, that they're servin' on a platter
So what we gon' have, dessert or disaster?

I never thought I'd be in love like this
When I look at you my mind goes on a trip
Then you came in, and knocked me on my face
Feels like in I'm a race
But I already won first place

I never thought I'd fall for you as hard as I did
(As hard as I did, yeah)
You got me thinkin' bout our life our house and kids, yeah
Every mornin' I look at you and smile
'Cause boy you came around and you knocked me down
Knocked me down

Sometimes love comes around
(Love comes around love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
(Knocks you down)
Sometimes love comes around
(Love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
(Knocks you down)

I never thought I'd, hear myself say, ooh, ya'll gon' head
I think I'm gonna kick it wit my girl today, kick it wit my girl today
I used to be commander and chief
Of my pimp ship flyin' high, flyin' high)
Til I met this pretty little missile that shot me out the sky
(Oh shot me out the sky)

Hey, now I'm crashing, don't know how it happened
But I know it feels so damn good
Said if I could back, and make it happen faster
Don't you know I would baby if I could
Miss Independent, ohh, to the fullest, the load never too much
She helpin' me pull it
She shot the bullet that ended that life
I swear to you the pimp in me just died tonight
Girl sometimes love

Sometimes love comes around
(Love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
(Knocks you down)
Sometimes love comes around
(Love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
(Knocks you down)

Tell me now can you make it past your Caspers
So we can finally fly off into NASA
You was always the cheerleader of my dreams that
Seem to only date the head of football teams
And I was the class clown that, always kept you laughin'

We, were never meant to be baby we just happen
So please, don't mess up the trick, hey young world I'm the new slick rick
They say I move too quick, but we can't let the moment pass us
Let the hourglass pass right into ashes

Let the wind blow the ash right before my glasses
So I wrote this love letter right before my classes
How could a goddess ask, someone that's only average
For advice, OMG, you listen to that bitch?
Whoa, it's me, baby this is tragic
'Cause we had it, we was magic

I was flyin', now I'm crashin'
This is bad, real bad, Michael Jackson
Now I'm mad, real mad, Joe Jackson
You should leave your boyfriend now, I'mma ask him

Say you gotta put the good with the bad, happy and the sad
So will u bring a better future than I had in the past
Oh Cause, I don't wanna make the same mistakes I did
I don't wanna fall back on my face again
Whoa, whoa, I'll admit it, I was scared to answer love's call
Whoa, whoa, and if it hits better make it worth the fall
(When it comes around)

Sometimes love comes around
(Love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
(Knocks you down)
Sometimes love comes around
(Love comes around)
And it knocks you down
Just get back up
When it knocks you down
(Knocks you down)

Won't see it coming when it happens, hey
But when it happens you're gonna feel it, let me tell you now
You see when love knocks you down

Won't see it coming when it happens
But when it happens you're gonna feel it, let me tell you now
You see when love knocks you down
Yeah

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

The song's stuck in my mind after watching the mtv at calvin's place. it's so sweet. and so upbeat. it makes sense to smile while listening to it. Songs are my energy bar. They give me strength like how some people do cuz they influence you positively and you know it's good. you know it's just right to have them sink.

Sometimes you aren't the best source of positivity, but you give me strength to walk on the street and smile silly cuz i know that i can lean on you when i need someone. cuz i know that when i start my morning, i have you to smile and have you to smile back at. I appreciate them all. Thank you. and i love you, Calvin Phang <3

2009-06-22T01:01:00.001+08:00

=( i think my mp3 player is dead.

Saturday.

2009-06-21T04:01:00.004+08:00

Today's pretty eventful with Calvin though it started late!

I shall keep it short cuz my lappie's batt is low.

Firstly, Thieves' Market at Sungei Road is quite interesting as you see many antiques and old school stuff. But i scared. =\

Next, we headed to Sim Lim Square to search for LED calculator that his dad's looking out for. Went through levels and shops but to no avail. Hey, it's been many years since i've been there and yea, update myself with the situation in there.

Went off to have soya bean milk and egg tart, also butterfly at Rochor Soya Bean. Ha! Thirsty quenching it was! (:

Took a bus to Clarke Quay and Mojito Fiesta we headed to. With a cup of Mojito on hand and sugarcane to indulge in, music was pretty good to start off with. Heh, we left after a dance for me (: Went to walk a lil in the basement of The Central cuz it was 2130 already and not much left to see. In Singapore, on a saturday night seems to be either Club, movie or sleep? =p

Bus 12 took us to Iluma. Wanted to check out Marvel Slab but it wasn't open for business yet. Anyway, I Love You, Man was a pretty nice movie to watch. A good change of thriller/ action genre. Had a good laugh throughout the show! =D Such a AwWw show.

The last bus 12 left so 197 and walk back to his place. We cycled out to Cold Storage to get ingredients for later after much discussion with Stephanie. Quite a bumpy ride man. Okay, shall sleep and wake up and help in breakfast. Will do dinner later at home (:

Gnite world. cya laters.

HAPPY DADDYS' DAY! Love you daddy. and you too, cal. <3

2009-06-19T19:01:00.001+08:00

it's my-lazy-friday-therefore-i-stay-in day. yay.

hungry.

2009-06-18T02:00:00.002+08:00

Wow i can't see how come i'm so hungry. I came home and within an hour, i had:

1 glass of milk
1 bar of toblerone
about 5 spoonfuls of potato chips
6 slices of aloe vera dipped in condensed milk

I had dinner!! i had 5 meals for the day already and im still hungry omg i'm a growing ~~pig~~ adolescent.

it feels weird and seems a long time since i slept in my own bed. Seems. anw a long week behind. a longer wk ahead. an early day later. lack of sleep again. boo!

mambo next wk anyone? zouk's mambo anniversary wha.

gnitez world.

2009-06-08T04:24:00.003+08:00

Bear bear has a place on my bed. and this bear has sth special in my life as well. (sorry for stitch counterpart but this picture is like awesome lar.)

It's not the OMG-it's-so-cute kind, but it's definitely adorable. i carried it on the streets leh- not embarrassed, just shy but feel loved kinda way.

we were unhappy/ pissed/ whatever at each other in the day. but im jus glad we're better now.

anw i gtg turn into bed now. a new day ahead! toodles.

i love you.

Time after time.

2009-06-06T20:11:00.004+08:00

Lying in my bed I hear the clock tick,
and think of you
caught up in circles confusion--
is nothing new
Flashback--warm nights--
almost left behind
suitcases of memories,
time after--

sometimes you picture me--
I'm walking too far ahead
you're calling to me, I can't hear
what you've said--
Then you say--go slow--
I fall behind--
the second hand unwinds

chorus:
if you're lost you can look--and you will find me
time after time
if you fall I will catch you--I'll be waiting
time after time

after my picture fades and darkness has
turned to gray
watching through windows--you're wondering
if I'm OK
secrets stolen from deep inside
the drum beats out of time--

chorus:
if you're lost...

you said go slow--
I fall behind
the second hand unwinds--

chorus:
if you're lost...
...time after time
time after time
time after time
time after time

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

This song suddenly played in my head, i've no idea why. But it's a meaningful song. Period.

Food time. =P

facebook.

2009-06-01T00:52:00.003+08:00

I just started playing Fish Wrangler and Mousehunt on facebook after looking at how Calvin has been on both of them for the longest time that I've known. These games must have some fun in them to captivate his attention. Okay, I'm quite stuck in front on the lappie right now cuz I'm reading about the games. They are passive games so basically I'm gonna be stuck to 15mins intervals. Lol the cute pictures of the mice and especially the fishes got me pretty excited about it but i really don't know how long i can last on them. It takes alot for a game to have me hook onto them for long. Then again, I think Fish Wrangler has a higher chance of getting me stuck onto it longer than Mousehunt.

Monster vs Aliens in 3D was slow moving, so slow that i actually dozed off for a while and Calvin to sleep for quite a bit. If it's not 3D, i think i would have slept longer. Really. 5 of us at Cineleisure and all agreed that other movies would have been a better choice. Oh wells.

Okay, I've just sounded the hunter's horn and I am going to change and koonz. goodnights world.

cherri~

PS: Fish in 7.6mins! I can change, brush teeth and fish. then technically, switch off and sleep for 6 hours before waking up for a brand new day.

hearts you!

2009-05-29T12:30:00.005+08:00

Nothing beats more than a wonderful companion in cycling, prawning and chilling out!! =D

Thank you Calvin (: We laugh, we bicker, we poke at each others' ego and also prawn into my hair and face. But what's most important is we have fun, spend time tog and enjoy each other's company. Love you baby <3

IM.

2009-05-27T21:11:00.003+08:00

i feel crappy right now. after my IM paper in the morning. i've been slacking in front of the pc like i haven't been before, downloading music. omg i mean im supposed to be studying for eoe paper tml. but i kinda give up already after the paper this morning. i feel dreaded. omg i really don't wanna take one more year to complete my studies. gosh. i just DON'T WANT TO STUDY ANYMORE. well, at the moment at least.

i am looking forward to the rest of the week. only. cuz beyond that is a different thing already. aiyah. i hate it.

i am looking forward to friday night with the girls. and was more looking forward to calvin being there too. guess it's me and my girlies then. i really could have debated with what he said just now. but im really in no mood to say anymore than just be safe. i've got more on my hands to deal with than to add another and make both more unhappy. guess if i were younger, i would have argued so much that will make sure i win the argument. oh well, i'll just do else that makes me feel better.

i wanna go blade and prawn tml. watch monsters vs aliens with calvin too.

i feel funny funny. maybe i'll really wanna eat macs sundae now now now now now. i am a spoilt kid now. and only now. mood swing.

time.

2009-05-25T17:01:00.002+08:00

i guess i understand how steph will feel after reading her blog abt spending time with that someone special esp when time seems to be the factor. cal went out cycling with desmond atm and im at his place supposedly studying. i said supposedly cuz im not now! im thinking back on the suntan cum swim just now and i feel happy. cuz we both are doing sth we wanna do and the best is to have each other's company. ty dear (:

i hearts m&m crispy and chewing gum now. IM notes are incomprehensivable. esp the study guide whilst the notes is a thick stack of digesting to be done. and im soooo lazy. i guess i found a way: to reward myself with rock band after a certain number of pages that i clear. this way, it'll be easier for me.

cherri~out

No boundaries.

2009-05-24T15:19:00.004+08:00

Seconds, hours, so many days
You know what you want, but how long can you wait?
Every moment last forever.
When you feel you've lost your way.

What if my chances were already gone?
I started believing that I could be wrong.
But you give me one good reason.
To fight and never walk away.

So here I am, still holding on

With every step, you climb another mountain
Every breath, it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing.

Just when you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can
There are no boundaries.
There are no boundaries.

I fought to the limit, to stand on the edge
What if today is as good as it gets?
Don't know where the future's heading
But nothing's gonna bring me down
I've jumped every bridge and I've run every line
I risked being safe but I always knew why
I always knew why

So here I am, still holding on

With every step, you climb another mountain
Every breath, it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes
To get to that one thing

Just when you think the road is going nowhere
Just when you almost gave up on your dreams
They take you by the hand and show you that you can

You can go higher, you can go deeper
There are no boundaries above and beneath you
Break every rule 'cause there's nothing between you
And your dreams

With every step, you climb another mountain
Every breath, it's harder to believe

Yeah, there are no boundaries
There are no boundaries

With every step, you climb another mountain
Every breath, it's harder to believe
You'll make it through the pain, weather the hurricanes

There are no boundaries.
There are no boundaries.
There are no boundaries.

====------======------====-----=====----

I tried lucky by jason mraz on guitar on friday night. tried a lil of love story by taylor swift too. but i think i'll go improve on lucky first cuz the chords are easier and my fingers aren't too constricted for a beginner. Some chords really requires my whole hand lar. like 5 or 6 strings to be pressed down. but normally ppl use only 4, no thumb wad. and they are very far away. aiyah i also don't really know how to play that, i'll probably go ask my sis soon lo. IM and EOE on wed and thurs. i'll try studying forr eoe but i think if i really cannot grasp the concept then no choice but to let go. I wanted to try for eoe after cf paper sucked. i left 20mins earlier. anw that's that.

after exam activities~ lots! First, thurs to sat is my salsa chalet. fri wanna go phuture will freesia. sat is alex's bday party. following sat, siti's bday party. the rest of the time would be for work cal family. hmm yup 22yrs old this year already. must make a mark for a start (:

still... go get back on track for dancing. guitar. cook. TAN. jog. blade. food-hunting.

Went prawning with cal and friends last night. so happened that my dad and terri were gg too. hahah sea water prawning seemed more efficient by hand. lol so paiseh but fun. when the prawns swim near, KOP! lol apparently im good at it. at last, i found another talent! ;) BBQ-ed the prawns omg SWEETNESS! the freshwater prawns got BBQ-ed with salt. nice!! =D Know-It-All on facebook sucks. =( i feel zero general knowledge. bleahs. wad mythology, norse, abt singapore (which im kinda bad at omg not singaporean can!) anw you can find so many different tests la.

No boundaries has nice meaningful words. (: short and sweet.

hahha i just got my collagen water, Pokka's with peach flavoured. i was *complaining* about insufficient intake in my diet. my skin's taking a super long time to recover and all. sadded. okay, shall head back to IM with collagen drink and crispy m&m (: nanina. i hearts IM (for now *winks*)

cherri~

Love Story - Taylor Swift

2009-05-21T06:45:00.004+08:00

We were both young, when I first saw you
I close my eyes and the flashback starts
I’m standing there, on a balcony of summer air

I see the lights, see the party, the ball gowns
I see you make your way through the crowd
You say hello, little did I know…

That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
And my daddy said “stay away from Juliet”
And I was crying on the staircase
Begging you please don’t go…
And I said…

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone
I’ll be waiting, all there’s left to do is run
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess,
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes

So I sneak out to the garden to see you
We keep quiet, because we’re dead if they knew
So close your eyes
Escape this town for a little while
Oh, Ohhh

Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter,
And my daddy said “stay away from Juliet”
But you were everything to me
I was begging you, please don’t go…
And I said

Romeo take me somewhere, we can be alone
I’ll be waiting, all there’s left to do is run
You’ll be the prince and I’ll be the princess
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes

Romeo save me, they’re trying to tell me how to feel
This love is difficult, but it’s real
Don’t be afraid, we’ll make it out of this mess
It’s a love story, baby, just say yes
Oh, Ohhh…

I got tired of waiting
Wondering if you were ever coming around
My faith in you was fading
When I met you on the outskirts of town
And I said

Romeo save me, I’ve been feeling so alone
I keep waiting, for you but you never come
Is this in my head, I don’t know what to think
He knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring and said

Marry me Juliet, you’ll never have to be alone
I love you, and that’s all I really know
I talked to your dad, go pick out a white dress
It’s a love story, baby just say…yes…
Oh, Ohhh… Oh, Oh, Ohhh…
We were both young when I first saw you.

I've got this song stuck in my head. I'll learn how to play this on guitar.

http://www.ultimate-guitar.com/tabs/t/taylor_swift/love_story_crd.htm

after my paper later. (: i think the song darn sweet leh. hah.

laters!

2009-05-20T21:47:00.002+08:00

The most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched, they must be felt with the heart.
-Helen Keller

2009-05-19T11:27:00.003+08:00

if understudying is a sin, i'm SOOOO guilty of it.

(it's worse than chocolate!)

ooh, im sry to wake you up by my typing, cal. =( i'm trying to type as softly now. then again, i shouldnt be online. let alone typing.

blur me =\

2009-05-18T23:42:00.008+08:00

Ah. i think Angels and Demons is quite a nice movie. well-paced. enough actions. but! i shall read the book first before commenting more on it though calvin said it's qt different from the book.

sunday morning, i ended up sending calvin, desmond and janet home. baked pound/ marble cake and chocolate chip cookies. made breakfast for dad and sis- sunny side up and butter&sugar bread, made avocado ice cream and avocado milkshake. i thought i was crazy too. (i dn have the photos now so too bad =P)

thank you calvin for the heart to get me war ration- vienna cream chocolate, seaweed, cornflakes (the one i was looking for cuz it was addictive after the first bite), strawberry pocky and also, your sis for the marshmellow.

(: (: hearts.

i cant believe im so blur now. fi cf then im. i though was fi im then cf. luckily freesia called me in the afternoon. else i would have studied im and sat for a cf paper. CRIES! i brought the wrong subs out to calvin's to study. right. and i came out of the wrong exit just now- cantonment police instead of sgh. =\

i've got so much i needa cover tonight and tml. wed fi 10am, thurs cf 2pm. i think luckily cf not 10am. then i got more time to play with.

i think subconsciously im getting a lil stressed out. with calvin trying to quit smoking, two agitable people in a room isn't quite the best team. oh wells, i'll try not to. but it's quite difficult sometimes not to say sth wrongly, cuz ppl do make mistakes and forget too. anw, it's only him i can get affected by over here, unlike at home. so yah, i shan't complain =x

oh yah, met cassand q and alison last thurs with cal. so nice to see them again!! =) like gd ole tuition times. and they're both in sim rmit. right. sch sch sch. must meet up with nicole and jean soon.

i miss chatting with freesia!!!

lackadaisical = lethargic. new word!! (:

and to Calvin: to hear you whizz makes me sleepy esp when you're so snuggly tugged into bed with the fan blowing at cha. i can imagine just how comfy it is to be there right now. but i cant do so cuz im not supposed to be falling aslp. sorry that the table light is bright that you gotta cover your head with the blankkie. i hope you'll reach your aim/ goal of quitting smoking. i'll be here to support you k? i'll try my best to control my temper also, esp when i got so much in my head to handle. i can't promise you that i wouldn't blow my top/ show you colours/give you attitude, but i'll lend you my ears and shoulder. and maybe my arm and fingers for you to bite.

Step by step,

we'll reach our destinations (: hearts you.

2009-05-18T23:13:00.001+08:00

RARR.

and that was the biggest font. =\

5am.

2009-05-17T04:41:00.004+08:00

i hate the feeling whereby i screwed up my sleeping time: i nap when i normally don't, i sleep when i'm normally awake. and it's only these couple of days that i've been doing so. it sucks to have myself not being able to fall aslp at 3.30am in the morning cuz i've napped at 3pm and fell asleep at 1am, but i weren't even doing work/ studies/ revision. crappy feeling. the best thing is there are alot in my mind and frankly, it doesn't help when i feel pressurized by other things when im already not able to focus in studies.

my papers are 20th, 21st and 27th, since im not taking the one on 28th. it doesn't help when i have people asking me why not just give it a shot. i ask them back, "why waste my time trying to even figure out what the subject is trying to tell me?!" yar i know, it is not the positive me. but i hate to admit that it's not that tough, since freesia can get like 48 marks for prelims. then again, she probably at least get the gist of the subject. note: it's SUBJECT, not topic. it's not the money, it's the effort. i may sound stolid on this, but i know what's in next year for me. Yes, consequentially, i'll have to cope with 5 subjects. i'm taking into account whereby i pass the 3 core subjects this time around too.

anw i've been prawning with calvin quite a bit that i must say we both are not bad at it. i think he's good at it. just that the last time we prawned (2 days ago), probably not much luck. or maybe i took his luck. cuz the malay guys opposite us were talking about me. How come i throw the rod in, then sure get bite. and this occurred a couple of times. qt cool neh ahaha. freshwater prawn is fun yet addictive. 1.6kg 2 rods 3hrs, not too bad la. i wanna try lobstering next! we saw this guy catch lobster but he din share much, only that he could see sth white in the water- either dead prawn or lobster. but even when it bites, there's a technique to catching it. i think when the lobster bites, the float will sink. then he waited for a while before he tugs the line qt hard. but all these got a certain proven technique. i know, cuz i realised the technique for freshwater prawn (i mean diff ppl got diff techniques. mine's diff from calvin's though in general, it's qt the same like for the lobster one above). anw, it gets so addictive that before i shut my eyes after each session, my mind pictures the float sinking = prawn! this was more prominent when i lost the HUUUGEEEEE prawn on the surface the last time we went. omg that one would probably weigh 700g or so? the claws were humongously huge. omg crying out loud man!! rarr rarr!!

anyhow it's 5am already. i haven't clubbed in a while, i can't really rmb how it feels to be high in a club. i only know that if it's past the high stage, it sucks. esp for your friends. i do drink, but normally abt 2 glasses when im outside, be it beer or else. i think drinking at home is better- much much much safer esp after my experiences. i had Moscato just now with my dad. sth like dessert wine but a lil more bubbly. having chocolates with it was way better than it alone. hahaha (: i had way lesser than the white and red wines i opened the last 3 times round. but you know how it is- i drink when im not feeling good. and it feels good to drink and fall aslp. rather than trying to cry yourself to sleep like how most people will. yes, that's usually the case right? bah, im not promoting that one should do so whenever you feel sad or others. im just thinking back that's all. it's just way better to open up and talk and not bottle everything inside, cuz when it accumulates, it's bad. real bad yea.

anyhow, im awake now. like long ago. i feel like baking. but i dno when he will call, cuz i offered to send him home from rebel. then again, he probably would text me when he got home instead. sically, i bake halfway then need to go off. then chao da, like my toasts. *rolls eyes* always one leh... maybe im not cut out for culinary. even basic one like toaster also like tt. hmpfh. feels qt inferior that a guy can do better than me. i tried. and i will again. sigh.

oh well, hopefully mom will wanna go jog later when she wakes up. at least i got companion. not that songs in my mp3 aren't sufficient. but company for a change (: i couldn't believe that i could complete 2 rounds of my estate plus climbing up the stairs. whoot awesome can. so i believe really that it's in the mind (esp when it's not the stitches, which sucks big time). anyhow, i actually jogged to the beat of bachata and salsa songs. maybe you ppl should try, other than rnb or rock. just for a change. hahah maybe classical is good too =x i dno, you try then tell me heh.

okay, im pretty done here now. was looking at cookies recipes. haha ultimately, i think im lazy to bake esp in the day. so hot already still have that 375 deg fahrenheit at you. it's the same as cold rainy day still eat ice cream. ;P

ciaos. xoxoxo.

cherri

Strength!

2009-05-13T01:59:00.003+08:00

With everything seemingly with a dateline,

i feel more breathless with all around me,

some spurring me on,

others pulling me down.

oh i wish im even stronger than i am now,

for my surroundings still affect me, profound.

especially those closer to my heart,

for i hear them aloud.

rarr rarr rarr.

Oh God, give me more strength and faith for me to go through the next 2 weeks of May strong. I need the concentration and concrete strong mind to block unnecessary (at the moment) stuff now. i've got things to get down to, i've got my datelines to meet.

Cherri~ out.

Maldives.

2009-05-06T02:49:00.005+08:00

Look at http://www.primetravels.com/PackageImages/282/Maldives%201.jpg

If this isnt pretty, i dno what is. (i tried uploading the photo from its url, but it's =\ cuz too large.)

i wanna go... the Maldives!

I'm making it my goal. yay. second to France. hahaha. Maybe after visiting the website below, you'll make it YOUR goal too. ;)

http://www.visitmaldives.com/Maldives/index.php

is a good website to visit cuz it's really comprehensive and detailed. Under "what to do" then "photography", it actually states the kind of lens to use etc. wow.

On a sad note, Steph's grandma passed on. Steph was still talking abt her grandma and all when Jocelyn and I were with her on thurs. I was kinda shocked. Very sudden news from steph. shall attend the wake tml. so sad.

Shall turn in now. Got a long day with early start and maybe late ending. Oh, the weather sure is one crazy thing. Hot in the day, cold in the night. Extremities. Absolute craze. and the wind is soooo strong now. against my window pane some more. rarr, im hungry.

Anyhow, im turning in soon. nitez world.

Cherri~

sometimes.

2009-04-29T00:35:00.004+08:00

Sometimes i wish time can stay and stop when we are all happy and dainty.
Sometimes i wish time will fast forward when things are really unhappy or upsetting.
Most of all, i wish times will stop and shoot a pic of us looking at each other in the eyes,

Knowing that we have each other when things are down.

Knowing that at that very moment, love is spelt h-a-p-p-i-n-e-s-s cuz it's only you and i in the formula.

xoxo,

cherri

To my dearest.

2009-04-25T22:08:00.005+08:00

You are damm right when you said that what we're having now is godsent.
For the ups and downs we went through, we have each other.

Thank you for being my pillar of support,

Be it in my high times and especially my times of low.

Appreciative i am of all that you've done for me,

I definitely hope it is likewise too.

We laugh at one another,

We grow and learn from each other too.

Of happy times,

Emphatic strengths we give each other

Of anger and sadness,

Imperative lessons we draw from them.

Goals we set are meant to be achieved.

Dreams are there for us to realize.

Determination and support together,

We are what we believe, we will and we will.

Jiayou baby. I believe in us, don't you too? (:

Piny! ;)

Life.

2009-04-25T17:16:00.003+08:00

Through it all, life is but a bed of roses.

People of different colours and beliefs.

Deep inside i know that i don't live to regret,

For i am true to you and myself.

Giving others chances seems fair,

The only is yet myself.

Being strong is eminent,

Weather through life sometimes i falter.

Thankful i am to those who are there for me,

For i am there as they are for me.

Blessed are those who give happiness,

Sharing and spreading joys and hopes.

Short of a stanza?

Yes it is, i am.

But truly and surely,

You get my meaning.

(: peace.

keyboard.

2009-04-24T01:44:00.006+08:00

Hmm... I didn't really wanna blog. but i'm doing so cuz... i wanna type using calvin's lappie. keyboard makes typing a breeze! Well, comparatively haha. Anw, Knowing was what we caught just now at The Cathy. Didn't like the ending, if you ask me. What whispering people. Aiyoh. It made Christianity look bad. =\ The Holy Spirit to some, is already pretty creepy. And now, this. =S

Anyway, hearing the wind through the gaps of the window pane reminds me that im not home and i really hope someone closes my window just in case it rains. And i really think it will, looking at how strong the wind is blowing.

This will remind me that im supposed to research more into Carl Icahn and trading.

Oh yes, Jeff Dunham is spelt funnyman. I like peanuts. and Jose Jalapenos on a stick. hahaha. The "Pachebel Ranting" that Cal showed me on youtube is really cool too eh. I went to listen to it once more. =P

And my lappie's giving me lotsa headache =( Wad java thing cannot install properly. So my work program can't work either =(( Eeyyerrr.

Okie, now bugis and dhoby gaut are like my latest hangouts. lol. good at least im doing sth and not nodding off half the time whenever i open my book to try to read.

Ooohkayyy i just made a fool outta myself!!! Firstly, i had second thoughts on today (past twelve) being friday. Secondly, i thought that i forgot about my FI lesson in the morning. Thirdly, Calvin had to remind me that it was cancelled cuz of the sms SIM sent to my hp just now while i was in the classroom. OMG. What on earth was i thinking?!

Cal and i were discussing what we gonna do for tml... wake up, breakfast, walk to ecp, prawn, to my house, get stuff then go study. I hope it all works out.

Well on the bright side, i made people laugh. And still do. (:

Much love,
cherri

TIME!

2009-04-22T00:38:00.005+08:00

So many things. So little time. Omg.

Work
Installing work-related software
Photo transfer
Photo upload to facebook
Send email to Steph
Make phonecalls
Study
Time for everyone; for myself
Blog about my weekend
Enjoy food! =P
Prawning
Jeff Dunham on Youtube
PSP

RARR Rarr rArr! I'll need to strike them after im done.

Oh, waffle crisp is good!! Anw, i poured them into the air-tight tupperware, hoping that it can close nicely. Not! Anw, the best way to make sure that it does, is to share. And im glad to make terri n daddy (: (: (:

Oo0oh!! I hope that people will know that if they're insensitive about what they say, it's better off not saying. Making me angry is the last straw leh. =( my mom just did so. =__-"

Ooh baby!! Meow!!

cherri~ out

cherri

2009-04-17T21:06:00.002+08:00

is bored at kallang leisure's subway on a friday night.

i miss partying quite a bit.

i mean at least there is sth to do, to look forward to omg.

well then, just gotta find sth to do. even chocolate doesn't perk me up as much now. starbucks did a fair bit, i might say.

RARR.

Back on track.

2009-04-17T18:43:00.004+08:00

Hmm, apart from why im taking the day off everything, i'm enjoying my time here at starbucks with my music and pretty quiet companion across me with his manga online.

I decided to download the music files that the mj alumni guys posted online for the midyear concert out of curiosity and also i really miss band. Boy, I'm definitely not regretting the time that the download off the file hosting site take. What made me smile/ smirk was the all too familiar tone of the pleasant start to Bert Appermont's Noah's Ark. That very song that we played for concerts and also for the International Music Competition 2006 in Genting where we attained Gold with Honours. Yummy. That very song that i really enjoyed the 10mins+ very much. Juxtaposing the trumpet playing in Starbucks through my earphones and Noah's Ark, the former was of no comparison. Hands down. I can never describe how i really feel right now, but i certainly miss the espirit de corps of the bandsmen, primary school through jc. Nevertheless, the level of the bands were definitely far off. I had the most gruelling time in MJ band under the baton of Ms Sia. However, it was the place where i grew the most as a player. Songs were wonderful. Invictus by Philip Sparke was our Gold winning piece in our very first SYF competition in 2005 May 5th, if my memory doesn't fail me. AWESOME was the word. I miss those concert times too. Those times when we were had all the spotlight especially when we were soloists. After each song, Ms Siah will make us stand and bow. Those musical pieces! And fast swaying jazz pieces! Rarr. They touched my heart really much. Reminiscing such times in sec and pri also. (:

Anyhows back to reality, after thinking about it for quite like the whole day, i decided what i needed to do and what i should simply focus on. I can't let others take charge of my life and affect me so much, even if they are the closest to me. Yes, they matter. But that's it. I'm sick and tired of being pushed around and let you be my master so to speak. That's all i gotta share. I just feel that it's wasting too much of my time thinking and feeling. After the last straw this morning, i've numbed myself. I've been too concerned about them but things i tried to improve the matter/s were to no avail. Forget about it. One afternoon off is all I'm giving myself to grief for the rest that has gone and about to come. If they ever regret, that's not really my problem anymore. I know at the very least, i tried. Be it subtly, discretely or even obviously. I live for myself and not others live for me. Period.

Time to get things done done done. First up, my FYE. Fastrack. Yum.

Cherri.

Happiness.

2009-04-07T00:28:00.005+08:00

I'm sooo mad at my sister just now. Better after counting many 10s. But still, it's really irritatingly frustrating when she PMSes or when she's with her nuts off. Anw, she's not the focus here rarr.

I think i'm telepathic or sort. I actually could feel how my dad was feeling. That very unsettled feeling was right, Cal. Apparently my dad was nowhere near high spirits when he came home. Well then. Had a father-daughter talk and sherri joined in when she came back too. Interesting to know what had happened during dinner on Sunday- dad, mom n sherri.

Oh yes, Confession of a Shopaholic is the first movie that i caught on its first screening day. that i can remember la. Very nice. And im a chocoholic and alcoholic. Remember chocolate + alcoholic = chocoholic too! =P The guy sitting on my right (the left din have anyone) turned a couple of times and gave me that "haha it's-so-you" thing. Spoken and all. HEH. At least i don't have food waving hi and luring me to them. HAHA not yet.

Anyhow, my weekend was packed.

Friday... School, work then i dropped at Aljunied to walk and bought baos for my family. Drove to find Stingray bro with Calvin abt 10-ish. Heineken, sugar cane with lemon and cockle. Drunken cockle!! Prawned from 12mn to 4am.

Sat... School then met Cal at Lido. I LOVE ISETAN B1, doncha too? ;) And my Sun Moulin. Prawned from 8pm to 12+am. And cal's dad came. Hey, his dad's pro one can!! Anw, we caught qt a fair bit. All in all, abt 20 prawns? with an hr and a half no luck at all? Haha. Itchy fingers. I actually dreamt and daydreamed of prawning. Thrice!

Sun... School @ MH. Went into JB to have dinner with Cal's family and extendeds. Omg really really awesome sumptuous meal. Very tasty food (: oh, and drinks too. Gula melaka! =P Haven't been into JB for a longggg time. Short trips seemed to have a refreshing effect! Sweeet! And i enjoyed myself real much. (: HAPPINESS!

Today was a rush. School, suntec. Anw, i realised that suntec to bugis is really near. haha. if not, it's me and my fast-paced walk. *speaks under my breath "that guy, make me walk from the rock to bugis street and back to epicentre suntec" RARR* Corn muffin from Kenny Rogers! =D Anw i realised there are many watch shops having sale. YAY i want my white strip and gold/copper rim. (:

Oh. While walking to Bugis, there was this guy who kept turning around to see me. Told his friend some stuff. All the way from the bridge to the Chinese Chamber that side. And when he was to cross the road, he asked for my number cuz he said i looked really sweet. When i refused to give, he wanted to give me his. And he asked if i've got a bf. I replied yes. But he replied, "still can be friend right?" I told him i was in the middle of typing a msg, which is true okay. Then he said, "Give me yours then." haha. Anw i took his number and he told me to text him. Lol. Right. Admittedly, he's got balls, yes. But it's one of an experience lol. Told you im cold towards strangers. reminds me of dbl o with alex, brandon, cal, janice, free and free's sis. right cal? ;)

"my mommy told me not to talk to strangers," was all that i said. ZHAI.

I haven't danced in the longest time. EVER. This friday @ Zouk. En La Pasion. Event held by En Motion. RUSTY me!!

Lastly, Good Friday and Easter Sunday. How are you going to spend them? (:

love, cherri.

To Calvin: I wanted to text you this but you were "slping now" already. Just wanna tell you, thank you very much for the memories this a year and 2 months. For the laughters and fun, quiet moments, sharing times, msg on mirrors, silly billy, lameness, laughing at me/ you/ ourselves, cranky, late nights, dinners, lunches, breakkies, times we share our view on things esp food, songs!, "our" songs, ya teases, soccer matches, starbucks, macs, subways, psp fun, outings, movies on the way home, prawning, times with ya n my family, etc. More importantly, for enduring my gibberish, accident-proneness and understanding me esp relenting on my sugar/ choco and alcohol intakes. Holding hands, ya kisses/"kisses", moments when i look you in the eyes and smile, times when you are a lil playful, and knowing that at the end of the day i have you in my life, keeps me smiling. To summarize, i thank God for bringing you into my life. We're not perfect humans, but... Happiness is my ultimate goal everyday- for me n you. Hope it's yours too. Sweet memories <>. i love you (:

Note to self: I MUST START MUGGING!!

outlet.

2009-03-19T05:29:00.003+08:00

It's raining heavily outside and the light-headedness due to the lack of food and sleep is killing me gradually. Yet i switched my lappie on again after 5 mins after shut down.

I had to have my outlet. I've been blog surfing and i concluded that my life isn't bad. It's once in a while that i feel such empathy for those really more unfortunate than me. Ironically, I must admit that i've been through qt a bit for a 21 years old. I wasn't quite borned with a silver spoon in my mouth as i was pretty independent in my younger years- i packed my own schoolbags, tied my own shoelaces, etc. But I am well aware that I've been pampered for I don't have to wash and iron my clothes and have dinner prepared too (though i can survive with my own cooking).

Anw, there is no happily ever after fairy tale; no one perfect family. I have my fair share. I guess compared to some, being the eldest, I grew up relatively earlier and faster than others. I share the adult world- actions and thinking likewise- rather early. Forced to grow up? Maybe. I wouldn't say it is all bad but sometimes, ignorance is a bliss.

Admittedly, my life has been pretty sheltered- caring parents, protective dad and concerned mom. That is until i stepped into university and into the working world. I see different perspectives, met many of different walks of life, have more responsibilities. I had more fun yet i had more pain. I had more laughters and smiles yet i had more headaches and tears.

You will definitely share my view on this: We all have things that we do not wanna share no matter how open or extroverted we are.

Day in and out, I think. And sometimes, too much of my own good. Insomnia is a rather serious thing. I just get restless and can't fall asleep as my usual. I rmb tossing and turning and have to psycho myself to relax and let go of what i'm thinking in order to get my rest. (i sound like a nut case now =\ )

Actions actions actions! I worry more than solutions. Rarr. And that is sth i have to improve quickly. Decisive too!

Life is about experiences- be it good or bad. I believe what we draw from them are lessons and we should learn from them all to improve ourselves. That is most important.

Anw, my head is throbbing crazily now. I should turn in since i'm feeling better inside. good morning world.

cherri~

a picture paints a thousand words.

2009-03-18T04:04:00.011+08:00

Hihi,

i'm letting the pictures do most of the talkings... Of how i feel, of my impressions, of my wish, my desires...

Of dreams...

Confidence...

carefree...

my solitude...

my kind of holiday n weekend...

Of comfort...

Of QT and nature...

Of (artistic) love...

Of sweet memories...

Of what i call companionship...

I am thankful for having known you. Of the highs and lows, good times and bad ones. Laughters and angers, tears and joys.

xoxo,

cherri <>

Full dinners.

2009-03-15T22:02:00.004+08:00

My weekend has been alright. Well, squeezing in IT fair in suntec on sat and today. kenny, calvin and i had dinner at kenny roger's at MS. corn muffin!! oh, i'll upload the photos soon. not at home with my cable yet. cheese macaroni and salad as sides. well, walking around, window shop and eye feasting on colours (: despite the crowd and cal's bad flu/ stuffy nose, it was niceeee lar.

Sleep was what i had indulged in. hahaha. "im sick, feel like shit" as quoted hahaa.

Went down to suntec (yes again!!) with cal and sisters. Lesser crowd than ytd and had buys (they bought stuff, not me =( ) well, dinner was good as well with cal's family at cafe oliv. im still sooo full. had sausage and snail and rosti. and dessert was nice too (:

Frankly, i can tolerate most nonsenses- jeering at me, teasing me and attitude me. Just couldn't take it when i have someone telling me that i hurt the person, say X. At this point, please refrain from reading if ya not in the mood for rants. You are warned.

Firstly, X is a good friend of mine. We've been through some tough times and had some good times talking and all. Anw, X msged me online, both messenger and fb and also sms. And X felt hurt cuz of what i did. For God's sake, good friends aren't determined by how much time we spent tog, but the quality and support we give one another. Quantity may mean that we drift apart. But really, that's not it. I may not be abel to spend as much time cuz of work and prelims and other factors but seriously, as a friend, you should understand. I really cannot take it when someone tell me such thing cuz i have no intention to hurt the person or whatsoever. Or however X put it. Cuz what can i gain from it? why do i wanna lose a friend? Seriously, give it a thought. I mean i went through some other ordeals to appreciate X more as a friend. But that's really just that. It doesn't dictate or determine or how X wanna measure up our friendship. Cuz that's superficial. I really don't really wanna give a thought about explaining sometimes, cuz i feel that i do not have to answer to X. Omfg. yes, that's how i think. i really don't have to report to you about my whereabouts and my doings. Even as concern a friend is, i really like my space. I don't like to get suffocated. Concern and care and however you put it, are not by such means. Omg. Even my own boyfriend doesn't do such thing. I really like to breathe as a friend. I will tell you what i wanna tell and i don't really have to get tied down in that way. I guess curiosity may get the better of a person huh. And in this case, maybe a friendship.

Tell me more why X feels that way... Rarr. Okay, maybe it's how i think and perceive things to be but c'mon. I know X is a good friend, someone who takes words and friendship really preciously, cuz X tells me that ALL the time. And emphasized. And drifted apart doesn't necessarily mean that we aren't good friends anymore, isn't it?! I cherished times i spent with people and X should really be glad that i went through those crazy ordeals to make me realise what kinda friends i should keep close to me. But no. That definitely isn't the case. And probably cuz i haven't kept him updated abt my life. Sigh. It sounds really contradicting now. But but but it makes sense. Good Lord. Now, i really don't wanna talk to him or settle things rarr but i know i have to cuz i know a friend who's just concerned. Probably over-concerned sometimes. Sigh.

Okay, i just needed an outlet to venge my anger and frustrations. Telling calvin all these may frustrate him as well. I'd rather keep it cool. I'll settle it well. Just as well. One lesser person in such negative light would be better. Sorry cal, it's nothing personal against you. It's just me. I wanna get this over and done with without you getting all worked up and worried. (maybe more of worried than worked up la).

tada. my blog full of rants. =p

cherri~

LATER...

Well, after playing maplestory... Rather, while still playing it, maybe laughter is the best medicine.

me: it takes 3 times for the snail to die lor!!

c: the snail hard wad.

-__-"' omg. and i ROFL. big deal man.

i really wanted to just say out the above that's bothering me. Guess cal, you know that sth is.

and and and! im still here PLAYING maple. if my parents find out that this is so, they're so gonna kill me esp when im supposed to be up by 7am. great.

DROOLZ.

2009-03-12T17:32:00.004+08:00

i enjoy eating my subway. with you. (: ty ty for the surprise baby.

Oh, ytd out with the 2 lil boys, janet and sophia jiejies and ge was pretty fun. sld put up photos soon?? the 2 boys can drive the adults crazy, like last wed. but thank God they were mild ytd! or i wld end up with a headache like Janet jiejie too (whose migraine wasn't caused by the kids, btw). Went to eat ice cream opp janet jiejie's place. then to ikea. cuteness.

i enjoy drooling at pictures as well.

My favourite MACARONS!

http://www.canele.com.sg/macarons2008.htm

i prefer those from canele cuz of the texture and taste. havent tried from the patisserier's though.

Ooh lovelies

http://www.thepatissier.com/webtop/Browse/miniatures.phtml

Looking at cooking/ baking classes too heh.

Oh look!!!! http://www.canele.com.sg/appetite_feb09.pdf

Yumyum maybe at the real ones soon!! ;)

Oo0ps i know im supposed to be studying ATM!! But i cant really help but to indulge in eye-feasting on the lovely pictures.

Tempts me to try out recipes too. What should i try first?? Any suggestions? (: (:

xoxo, cherri

na yi ci.

2009-03-09T16:31:00.004+08:00

Oohkayy i screwed my timetable up. maybe i really should take a year off studying to get back on tracks. Well, anw anw...

I was just watching the tele for a while and had this overwhelming need to blog this down. particularly, it was abt this couple gg thru ordeals.

xiang qi lai you dian mo hu le...

rang wo xiang qi na yi qi wo men zeng chao. hao xiang nao le ji tian. quite bad.

dan zhui qing chu de shi ni zai disco ball xia zhao dao wo. liang ren bao zhe ku. hen melodramatic. shi seriously break down de ku. hen shang xin de ku chu lai. esp when wo kan dao ni liu lei, rang wo heart-wrenched. hen xin suan.

that particularly, was a spinning moment. somehow that was the only part i rmb. nth before or after. come to think abt it, it was pretty long time ago already.

Pancake maple syrup.

2009-03-09T02:30:00.010+08:00

Hello hello,

i was researching a lil on why Rabbit made that siren sneer, the video Terri posted on fb. Came to this website: http://www.fuzzy-rabbit.com/behaviourfaq.htm

I read a couple of behaviours and it made me miss Mobbit alot. I mean 10 years of playing and bonding was a long time... For example, the binkies aka jumping. She used to do alot when she was younger. ALOT.

Thumping. She thumped alot. She was a difficult to please rabbit. Full of displeasure i suppose haha.

Trancing a rabbit. I did this alot to her. But she was a lovely one. heh. (:

Sitting in a corner. YES!

If you are in the bunny's way, he will bite you to get you to move. Yup i got bitten a couple of times. Rarr.

Mobbit, i know you're safe in the Lord's arms. cya when i'm up there too... I know you're my lil guardian angel, keeping me safe (:

I miss you dearly, my white&black love.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Breakkie today was SWEET. i enjoyed cooking with ya dear. i enjoy activities with you, can?

Our breakkie! - Pancakes topped with maple syrup! my fav yum. tea and soy milk. i enjoyed getting dirty in the kitchen haha at least it's edibly nice =) heh heh

I like to see Chef Cal at work ;) *raises eyebrow* i like...

oh oh, the MISTY LOMOish effect!

And the lovely breeze aka white&black pseudo shark haha.

check out e video i posted on FB!

And i lovelovelove you too hun.

And you're not ugly here. It's in line with the "crazy things we do" okay!! =P spontaneuos! i like too.

Or i wld have printed sth else already. but i figured if i wanna have a pic in my wallet, i'll rather have sth fun than the usual "ok-1-2-3-pose" sorta thing!

Alrighty. i thought abt it. i will start a food blog. i will also do it after my may's FYE. AND and and, i will blog abt stuff more often cuz i realised that i will visit my blog every day (since it's on the thumbnail on google chrome front page. anw i check on comments ahhaha

no, more imptly, there're things and events that happened and to reflect upon them on my blog is way faster than penning in my secret blue blue diary. (yes, im lazy!) anw you get the drift. i know i tend to rant a lil more but hey, this is my blog. muahaha.

prelims are here. this week. screwed. Anw many many birthdays and presents. Ouhkayy. 'nuff said. ciaos.

<3,

cherri

PS: This is pretty. Always wanted one. they din state how much leh... =( Is one of those FB ads hahah. thinkthinkthink http://morethandiamonds.com.sg/store/Goldilocks-Signature-Necklace-c-273-p-16511.html

<3

2009-03-07T05:49:00.006+08:00

my life. my space.

i love you!

fight.

如果一個男人真的愛妳

dear !!

i.love.you!

CALVIN!

Cino.

Ciders baby!

Indoor BBQ!

Thank-you post #1- sleep.

not so right time.

ahm?

astrology.

happy birthday freesia!! =D

hello all.

2010.

sets in...

for you.

and you think.

winner at a losing game.

manyathinking.

i'm sorry.

listen.

yue ding.

sometimes love comes around.

Watcha Say?

Evacuate the dancefloor.

Down.

and when...

22nd yo.

swt autumn night,

i'd rather suffer from too much happiness.

travail d'amour

with smiles.

Fame.

first days.

take the lead.

dead.

sickly blue.

simple things that make me smile.

My girl.

*pouts*

Note to self

A rainy morning...

girls.

my cranberry cream bun.

Knock you down.

Saturday.

hungry.

Time after time.

facebook.

hearts you!

IM.

time.

No boundaries.

Love Story - Taylor Swift

blur me =\

5am.

Strength!

Maldives.

sometimes.

To my dearest.

Life.

keyboard.

TIME!

cherri

Back on track.

Happiness.

outlet.

a picture paints a thousand words.

Full dinners.

DROOLZ.

na yi ci.

Pancake maple syrup.

<3

pouts