I'm okay...

It's comforting to know that i've got ppl concern about me. Thank you all.

I'm fine. It's just that life isn't the way it sld be. Crap.

I'm alright. =)

nothin

i feel like dying. i feel like crying. i feel like the world has no more happiness. i feel like no more smiles can ever exist on my face. i feel like love will never be. i feel like i will never be happy again. i feel like every thing is numb. i feel like everyone is killing me. i feel like nothing will ever make me happy. i feel like there will never be sunrise again. i feel like there can never be something called beautiful. i feel like you never existed. i feel like there can never be a rainbow in the sky again. i feel that the stars will never twinkle again. i feel like everything is a dread. i feel like 'trust' will never be in my dictionary. i feel like i can never have the upbeat in me. i feel like i will never open my eyes when i fall asleep. i feel like dreams never come true. i feel like dread is always the word. i feel like a hiatus never will work. i feel like i should not have taken a wrong step. i feel like you can never be there again. i feel like, i feel like, i feel like dying.

lately...

Many events occurred. Too many to talk about, even to freesia. But to summarize the emotion roller coaster:

Pleasant, unpleasant ones. They're a test of friendship, a test of determination, a test of my readings, a test of maturity. Yet, in the end, through the laughters and tears, we seek comfort in our comfort zone. And to step out of it is difficult, we know.

Trusting someone and having yourself backstabbed isn't really the way it works. But hey, after the tears and talks, i see the bigger picture. I want to trust like how i used to but even girls are not that simple as they seemed.

See, i always learnt lessons the hard way. Ultimately, I still do. The emotional scarrings are fading yet impressions will always be left there. Of how hurt I was. And being there for me when i'm at my lowest helps. thanks. It's for me to step out of my old self. To be able to trust again. After those pain inflicted. Give me time. Also, see if i'm worth the wait.

I don't say stuff that I don't mean it. Even when it's jokingly. If i can bring my msg across, yes, i still mean it. So don't expect me to say stuff that will become a lie or even half truth when it's really serious. Sigh, know me enough now?

After those traumatic commotions, it's time to really sit and reflect. Give myself time.

I've not done myself a favour. I desperately need to start doing work and study. Thinking of investing in reference books. Aye, maybe photocopying works the same. Just that my pocket will be happier. Hurhur. I'm lagging far behind than i ever know. Sucks big time. BIG TIME. To settle every other aspects of my life, I did. Now, it's time for just me.

And after the first week of October, I'm gonna be a much "freer" person. Time to really breathe. Teaching gets tiring at times.

Time to reflect.
Time to feel my inner self.
Time to dance.
Time to be myself right.
Time to be free.
Time to do stuff that i enjoy.
Time to learn new stuff.

Oh, I've completed elementary 1 of Salsa. Next, elementary 2! YEAH. I love it. Dig it. Whoo! Steps are so cool. Twirls are lovely. Partnerwork is interesting.

basics... side steps... cumbia... triple steps... cross step... basic partnering position... cross leap... cross leap turns...

Can't ember the rest but sld be around there. groovy stuff!

Intend to invest in a pair of proper dance shoes if i'm continuing further. Think i should? ;)
No one reads here, right?





Time with my daddy. =D
Round stuff. heh.
But I love my daddy still.

and we say.

And i teared after so long.

And the hurt sets in. I knew I shouldn't have. But hugged i did.

My heart torned again. This time, maybe for long.

1 year, you said. On this very day in the autumn of 2008.

The place that hold meaning for only us both. 6pm you said. Dinner, it may.

And you teared in front of me. Yet, i did behind you.

Maybe time will fly by, maybe the world may end.

But time i wished to stop at that moment when you told me so.

Whisper seemed so loud like how subtle signs seemed obvious.

Only we know. Only we read each other's minds.

Like how we read books. Like open books.

ily. ilyt. Till then, we may...