i love you!

fight.

Yes, what i've done wasn't of the principle that you have. and it's something i have to and must change.

but what i heard and found out, breaks me even more.

I've spent time talking things out and through, couldn't sleep cuz i know the gravity of the situation but how you put it across hurt me more than anything else could. What's more the stuff i found out, im the cat- curiosity kills the cat.

You said that you hope i thought things through, i just couldn't tell you how much i thought everything that you dont know that i know through as well... So much so deep so tired i was that slowly as the fatigue set in, the less impt ones faded away... i believe those that were left behind is what the heart truly is telling you...

it doesn't matter cuz i dont think you read here anymore so it's really for me to rant and spill my heart's content out in general.

i dont think im thinking too much, but im totally shattered.

which way sld i pick myself up from?

to me, the future matters more and that is what im inclined to go with.... but it doesn't deny me that i wouldn't think of things in the past. i promised that i wouldn't see you in different light since to me, the past is the past.

The future is what matters more.

That is what i believe in. and yes, i have so high a tolerance that many are amazed by it. to have tolerance for such shit that falls upon me. But hey, if you are worth it, why not?

i guess that's what you feel too.... with everything in retrospect, every situation is different and i can never compare apple to pear, how pear is to mango. even when they are fruits, matter of fact.

i feel as confused and uncertain, im trying to digest and keep myself together to get everything right in my mind to move on right: if im not supposed to do things, i better not do it. i shouldn't test boundaries and let anyone feel that they don't matter to me/ taken for granted.

i feel obligated and suffocated at the same time. i just need to think. properly. right. through.

maybe like what J said: don't think so much, just be a good girl and behave.

period.

如果一個男人真的愛妳

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他冷落妳不會超過三天，
因為想念妳的日子很難度過 ........

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會給妳一個甜蜜的稱呼，
只屬於他一個人喊的稱呼⋯⋯ ......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，會令你溶入他的生活，
決不會相愛多年後，還讓妳妾身未明 ......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會把妳當孩子般寵愛，
但是自己又說不出寵妳的原因…

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會讓妳開心快樂，
捨不得讓妳流淚 ..

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他的手機會24小時為妳開機，
隨時隨地讓妳能夠找到他 .....

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會覺得妳是最好的，
不會將妳和其他女人做比較，即便妳並不優秀 ......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會抽出時間來陪妳，
即使自己真的很忙，因為他看不見妳會很想妳.....

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他不會要求妳減肥，
因為他把妳的身體健康看作第一位 .........

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會很想和妳生活在一起，
會把妳看成是生命中最重要的 .....

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會經常緊緊地抱著妳，
讓妳感受他的心跳 .......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會在妳睡著的時候輕輕吻妳，
因為妳是他的天使 .......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會讓妳買妳喜歡的東西，
並且很高興陪妳逛街 ........

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會對妳的家人、朋友都很好，
喜歡融入到他們當中 .......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會默默地為妳付出一切，
但很少讓妳知道他所做的犧牲 .......

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會看妳吃飯的時候傻笑，
然後把好吃都留給妳吃…

如果一個男人愛妳，他會不厭其煩提醒妳吃飯，穿衣服，
聽妳說「煩了」，他還是要提醒妳，因為妳是他的一切

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他會記住妳說的每句話，
哪怕是一句小玩笑，他也會放心裏。
然後努力改變自己的生活習慣。

如果一個男人真的愛妳，在妳過馬路的時候會拉著妳的手，
怕妳橫衝直撞出什麼事，所以不要甩開他的手。

如果一個男人真的愛妳，他的手機裏都是關於妳的東西，
想妳的時候會對著手機傻笑，

妳是他最美好的幸福 ...

dear !!

suddenly feel so weird not having you around... and to think about how long i'll be without you around... feels a lil peculiar. but im gonna enjoy my family time and look forward to seeing you on monday night then...

till then,
love you!

i.love.you!

i.love.you.baby.

thankyouforeverythingthatyou'vedone!

imgoingofftocameronhighlandsinawhile, andi'mtypingthiswhilesittingonyourcouchwithc.s.i.onscreen. andyousleepingsoundly.

i'lluploadphotosoftheeventssoonwheni'mback. let'sgoxiaolongbaobuffetokay?

iwannatellyoualsothatit'slovelytohaveyouatsoccertraining. it'senjoyabletohaveyoureviewandteachmeonhowicanimprovemysoccerskills.

ravingrabbitswheni'mbacktoo. iwannatry!! (:

cyawheni'mbackonmondayweehoursinthemorning.

*muacks*

hopeyousawmyphotomessage!

<3

me

CALVIN!

yar, and the 2 posts "calvin bully me" and "again" are by calvin.

(read: calbin!)

bully me... =(

dq dq huh... don't ah...

>> World cup is getting more interesting with each match. now's the rounds of 16. Paraguay vs Japan. Went into 30mins extra time. if no one scores, then penalty shoot out. We all hope Japan wins though! =)

Cino.

Post dedicated to Cino.

R.I.P. Cino.

Adopted her slightly after new year... till 26th June 2010.

Pretty mommy... and her life...

Miss her so much. Can't really leave myself alone, else i get emo....

Cino and baby Coco. Borned 12 June 2010.

Exactly 2 weeks before Cino passed away.

Baby Coco and my mommy.

So cute eh?

Cino when she was pregnant,

when i put her outside as i clean her cage.

I love this photo of her.

Truly shows how pretty and gentle a soul she was.

And she was used as a mouse when she first stepped into my life.

By Calvin. =p

again !!!!!!!!

calvin bully mi !!!!!

Ciders baby!

Here are the ciders that we've tried/ intend to try!

Bulmers' Pear Cider- Light and easy to drink. A crowd favourite.

And also.... Oops, i mean the next one!

Henry Westons' Vintage 2008 Apple Cider-

Strong acidic taste. Taste like beer.

Green Goblin!

Brothers' Pear, Strawberry and Lemon cider-

I (and Cal) prefer lemon to pear. Lemon has a slightly sweeter taste and pleasant to drink. Pear tastes quite common. Haven't tried strawberry.

Timmermans' Fruit Beer:

Fruit of the Forest- Very wonderful taste. Our favourite.

Raspberry- Nice sweet taste. A little more sour than fruit of the forest.

Peach- Pleasant flavour and easy to down.

Cherry- Strong taste and not as popular. After taste isn't as lovely as the others.

We bought these from East of Avalon, along Joo Chiat Road. Very reasonable prices. Wide range of alcohols. We drove past the shop while we cruise around for supper before a 2.30 soccer match.

Always nice to sit and drink while watching a match (:

Love,

cherri

Indoor BBQ!

Sometimes when you really just be adventurous,

you get...

INDOOR BBQ!!

It's a small aluminium foiled with charcoal and a fan blowing the smoke out of the window! =D

This is the initial stage.

When you utilise the fan to get the charcoal ignited.

Sounds crazy?

It was! But the effort paid off with the yummy juicy chicken wings sink into your teeth!- Honey BBQ sauce and tom yum one! =)

*Some things you can do when you have a BBQ the next day or when you are kinda bored.

Had a crazy time with you, Calvin. =D

Thank you!

xoxo,

cherri

Thank-you post #1- sleep.

Yea, i know i haven't blogged in ages. Exams ended, june ending. world cup is nearly halfway through.

Anw, i came online now to blog (at 0220 when i just woke up from falling aslp in front of the tele. im gna miss the spain match, too tired to figure where to watch on. Hope they win though.) just to thank:

Calvin

I wanted to post this up some time ago, just that my laptop has limited battery and blogging with you around is different. Even now, back in my own bed, sleeping feels different already. Not that i miss your smell or pillow (hey, your pillow IS more comfy), or fighting over the quilt and blankie, top or bottom bed, who to switch off the light.

Just YOU.

Thank you for taking care of me... When i fall asleep on the bed with everything, you get everything proper- what's to be on the bed is on the bed; what's not, is not. you turn off the light too. and you don't grumble (much), you merely just nudge me about it the next day. And laugh at me. Thank you dear. Love you <3

And this is the starting post of many thank-you posts ahead.

Much love,

Cherri

PS: ooh, the crimson red <3 looks pretty on a rose! =)

not so right time.

I guess saying things at the not so right time doesn't help even when i just want you to know. so say or not say? when is it a gd time or not so right time? I say and i get all emo cuz of you getting your point at me. I don't say, also not right for frustrations build up.

I guess as much as i hate confrontations, some cannot be helped.

I just wanted you to know how i feel. just that i did so at a not so right time. That is the thing im apologetic about.

What a way to end the night after all the sweetness. sigh.

ahm?

Exams.

Today's MM was a killer. Apparently the examiner kinda maxed out all his 5-star difficulty qns in this paper. CRAZY! =( boo hoo. it's far tougher than the prelims. all the upset and frustrations all had to be stashed somewhere. didn't feel like going for a jog while travelling back from expo. BUT! im glad i dragged my lazy bum. Cuz...

I ran slightly more than 7.5km! Seriously! I cannot believe i can do so and still feel alive. Wait, i feel way better! cuz the negativities all got jogged off! And at this rate, ahm shouldn't be a big problem. Yar, 21km. slightly less than 3x of what i jogged today! anw, it's been lovely jogs in the evenings. The weather has been bearable in the evenings, less the day. I jogged from the siglap connector, turn down to marine vista then to marine terrace then cross over to ecp, jogged back to the seafood centres there, take the underground (which i am afraid!) then take the connector back. Sounds easy? think again after you see the map! =P

Terri guided me on handstands and after like a couple of failed attempts, ive been doing it nearly everyday! =) so easy after you get it. I think life is like that. Once it is a habit, it gets easier.

Anyhow, MSM is next on the 11th. And i have studying with freesia tml, dog visiting and probably movie with cal on sunday. Oh and jog with mommy and daddy on either days. Exciting! =)

Cherri~out. bathe bathe bathe.

astrology.

I am really restless now, thanks to the lack of knowledge and practice. let's see:

CF 5th may wed
MM 7th may fri
MSM 11th may
ESAP 26th may

And i wonder why im always restless. Even if you don't believe in astrology, suck it up. I read mine in more accuracy and i couldn't believe myself. I do have an inner restlessness. Can't remember why though. How true can that be? wow.

And astrology in details (not those kind you normally read in the papers) is actually freakily true.

okay, enough of astrology stuff... need to sit and study now.

cherri

happy birthday freesia!! =D

hope you have fun!! whichever fun means. =p

sian, if only blogspot has an app on iphone like livejournal... cheeze, it's so windy here in his room. makes me sleepy. and being sick = lethargic. im feeling all aching again. guess i'll just yi du gong du since the other stuff doesnt work well. yi du gong du works better for me ;)

ah, lazing at home should be a one-day affair only. 2 days still okay. 3 days, and im already fidgetive. gotta starting working... study-working, work-working and working-out-working. im growing sideways with no brains and no income. =(

okay, gonna work that pig sunny-side up x 1.

ciao.

hello all.

There were many times i wanted to blog, but i decided not to. Once, i turned to my diary. Others, i just slept on it. Feelings, now, aren't very much of must write to speak my mind out. I try my best to speak them out. Sometimes, you feel that im deliberately doing it to you. But really, some of them are either for fun or that's how i feel. Well now, having said that, i don't see a need to blog when i speak my mind out.

Anyway, CNY has come and gone. February has. 2 years. pretty long with ups and downs. very trying. And March has half gone by. The past few days have been good on a whole. generally been pretty happy. maybe just for the mood swings on both sides. But alas, life is life. nth's perfectly awesome or awesomely perfect. im happy having you with me. i hope having me with you too (: kidnapped for a week, i realised! got everyone missing me at home.

terri and sherri are playing the xbox. weird. mom's busy as usual. dad mentioned rabbit, so i took him out to play. and wanted to WALK THE RABBIT. failed miserably. let him off the leash. thought he wanted to suicide. grabbed him, and hugged him while running back into the house. frightened me. omg.

I rmb clutters... i must clear my clutters... physical ones are pretty done. im glad on the exterior visuals. interior are mostly done. except for 2 areas. minor ones.

finally uploaded photos onto fb... slow and steady. sucking my youth away... then again, i have my MM to read. So, good deal. keeps me awake. and typing this too... entertains me. and gosh, it's 3.07am!

Looking at the photos, it got me thinking how the trip was. I can't remember the minor details. I rmb the feelings. Mostly neutral, wishing things werent the way they were. Then again, they weren't uber upsetting or angry. they werent just of jubilant. having to see the world is good. i feel fortunate to have done so. i enjoyed the company mostly, i liked the atmosphere of holiday, i like the structures. makes me feel at home in uk. Just reminiscing now... glad i had you for the trip. even if it werent of romance, u made us laugh for the most part i rmb. Gee, i think i rmb the good and not the bad... oh well, isnt it better that way?

okay, i shall continue to upload and hit the books now... HUNGRY argh.

ALways on my mind...

wanna be with you. be there for you. and you for me. sounds good, yes?

Happy birthday Pang Zi. Can't wait to SEE YOU!!<3

*cherri.

PS: BITCH: Babe In Total Control Of Herself.

period. ;)

2010.

Havent gotten down to sitting in front of my com, cant really blog on my iphone either. it's been a joy and distraction, i tell you...

nonetheless, i had a rather enjoyable london/ paris holiday. havent gotten down to uploading photos up or even emailing them. shall find the excitement to first.

it's been a few days since the new year... i started monday 4th jan not really the right way, not optimistic. been boggled down by many things in my head. every bits and pieces.

ytd 5th jan, tues, was better. and it'll get better...