it's been an awful late night ytd. but what can i say for i found trouble myself.
i love how the thunder sounds- terrifying yet calming at the same time. For this is what i need. it's not a glamorous thing to say what happened last night but i wanna state it down to rmb. to look back. And afterall, to note to myself how ashaming i can be to myself, to those who love me, to those who care for me.
I don't want to lose someone who loves me just because of my stupor. It's not worth it.
I don't want to disappoint those who love me, esp Calvin, anymore than i have cuz it's all too silly.
I don't want to be trouble to those around me.
I wanna speak up more. I must learn to take care of myself more. I must never forget that drinking sorrows is not the best thing. And if im feeling unhappy, not to drink and club.
I must give more love care and laughter to those around me, not tears anger and disappointment.
And it's better to speak out cuz no matter how one looks, he is listening. It's better to face it than to keep it within me and drown it on drinking.
I need to grow up more. I need to be more independent and responsible.
I now know who to turn to talk as well. So, when i need to talk to someone (also means i need to speak up!!), i better turn to those who are genuinely concern.
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I've been stuck on this song for a while now... i guess it's worth a lyrics mention in my entry. i nearly teared while listening to it just now on the bus journey to town to meet alex brandon and ruth with calvin. had a gd time laughing but i know through everything, they are ppl i dn wanna trouble them everytime cuz they're a buncha nice concerned ppl. and it's not fair to them even so to have them take care of me. anw here goes...
Black Eyed Peas- Alive.
[ will.i.am ]
I got so much love
For you darlin' and i,
I wanna let you know how I feel
And its true that I love you
And it's true your the only one and I do,
I adore you
And its true girl
You make me feel alive ive ive ive 4x
[Fergie]
You said - you said - you said
That im the only one
You said that im your number 1
Now your gone and I feel numb
Tell me where do we go wrong
You are my best friend and boyfriend
Now its seems like you're my worst friend
I gotta do soul searching
Without you im a whole different person
I aint acting like I used to
I don't feel loved like I used to
It was your love I was used to
Why do I had to lo-lo-lo-lose
Your love your love your love
Your love is what it was
That have me feeling **bust**
***you are my true love***
[will.i.am]
And its true that I love you
And it's true your the only one and I do
I adore you
And its true girl
You make me feel alive ive ive ive 4x
Hey girl ur the only one
**must** be my number one
Now your gone I feel so numb
Tell me how do we go wrong
First friends then we became best-friend
You used to be my girlfriend
Now your my worst friend
Yeah I gotta do a lil soul searching
Without you im a whole different person
I don't even act like I used to
I don't even feel loved like I used to
I guess its your love that I used to
And I feel bad that I lose you
I get so many things that I wanna sa-sa-sa-sa...
I guess this mean that im missing you
Sorry for the things that I did to you
Im so lost without you
[will.i.am]
And its true that I love you
And it's true your the only one and I do,
I adore you
And its true girl
U make me feel alive ive ive ive 4x
I got so much love
...i adore u and its true girl
You make me feel alive ive ive ive 4x
[taboo]
So easy to fall in love with u
And all the things that u do
Baby girl ur so remarkable
So special, so wonderful
So special, so wonderful
So special, so wonderful
Baby girl ur so remarkable
Friday 28 August 2009
Monday 10 August 2009
A rainy morning...
Well, firstly i know i haven't blogged in ages- not because i don't have anything to blog but guess i'm just too lazy to. There are many pretty eventful ones but for the past weeks, i've been battling within myself what to do with changing companies that it affected my overall emotion. And that itself doesn't help very much with other stuff going on in my life.
I spent my first national day away from home. I rmb how my mom will be all excited to watch the live broadcast on the teevee and we'll all wait patiently for that 5mins- 15mins tops- firework from our windows. This year, i spent national day with calvin's family; sunday family dinner at wahiro. It's some fun to share food, talk and laugh at whatever that's being said and observed then. food's awesome, above that the company made dinner light-hearted (: sho nice!
Grocery shopping!! boo no chips for me this round cuz i was tied to his arm. once freed, i run wild at the same row only. lol!! but i like it when im stuck in this pocket, holding hands. xP
Watched sg idol later when back at his place. funny people: guy with high pitch, sg A(h)vril lavigne, all the lookalikes etc. Steph, Auntie Anne, Calvin and I had some good laughter. Ridiculous people. Can't wait to watch the next episode, honestly.
It's a public holiday today. For a monday even, it's really early to be out of bed. I woke up an hour ago and now, i can't seem to want to sleep cuz it's raining. I lied in bed, listened really hard and found that it's RAINING! Not quite a good start for those who have outdoor plans on a public hol. I love morning rains like this especially when i can slack and stay in bed. But i felt more like blogging instead of staying in bed. So here i am, in front of the com with a mug (not the stitch one, Calvin!! =0 ) typing away. I enjoy the loud pour of the rain outside, don't get me wrong cuz i do miss such days even if it woke me up.
Went to catch GI Joe on sat with melvin jaime alex and calvin at the grand cathy on sat. Very seldom do you get a 2hr movie feeling that it's only an hr and a half! Mei's house was a walk away from paragon and i din know how to go so poor alex and calvin were tugged behind. Well then, social house with the guys plus freesia and peiwen was alright. But the crowd was terrible! the place was SOo0o empty. disappointed! well, i guess the "feelings talk" went pretty fine. I really do wanna learn how to speak my feelings out. And im still learning to. Cuz sometimes when i say something really frank, it may go brutally honest and blunt it'll be as well. So technically, i'm learning how to be more tactful as well. Thank you peiwen and alex for your help. I know those long smoking sessions were sth but i dno what.
And i meant it much when i say that im glad we didn't give up learning from one another cuz in such circumstances, sometimes it's easier to just give everything up. But im not ready to. cuz you mean alot to me. and i could have let go even cuz im the one being squeezed. and i was really disheartened when jason texted me that you were not well. and you could have let go too cuz of how insensitive i was. but im truly heartened that we trashed things out and hold onto each other stronger with open minds. Once again, im sorry calvin and that we all learn from everything, big and small.
Oh yes, caught Up! with Calvin and his school friends on thurs. *points!* <- that's what the talking dog does! Darn cute! and the giant bird which loves chocolate. "good morning sir. may i assist you ... ..." the little boy is cute too hahahaha. "Will you be my prisoner please?" asked the talking dog to the giant bird. omg! Da jie went camping with janice and friends in Msia. And i miss camping. Those outdoor survival instincts. And nature. And wilderness. I wanna go outdoor cooking, rafting, pioneering etc ! Rarr rarr!!!
I wanna thank my daddy for being there for me. one liner says alot huh =x
Well then, cherri's signing off with a sore throat no matter how much i hydrate myself one hour later...
going back to bed! =P
I spent my first national day away from home. I rmb how my mom will be all excited to watch the live broadcast on the teevee and we'll all wait patiently for that 5mins- 15mins tops- firework from our windows. This year, i spent national day with calvin's family; sunday family dinner at wahiro. It's some fun to share food, talk and laugh at whatever that's being said and observed then. food's awesome, above that the company made dinner light-hearted (: sho nice!
Grocery shopping!! boo no chips for me this round cuz i was tied to his arm. once freed, i run wild at the same row only. lol!! but i like it when im stuck in this pocket, holding hands. xP
Watched sg idol later when back at his place. funny people: guy with high pitch, sg A(h)vril lavigne, all the lookalikes etc. Steph, Auntie Anne, Calvin and I had some good laughter. Ridiculous people. Can't wait to watch the next episode, honestly.
It's a public holiday today. For a monday even, it's really early to be out of bed. I woke up an hour ago and now, i can't seem to want to sleep cuz it's raining. I lied in bed, listened really hard and found that it's RAINING! Not quite a good start for those who have outdoor plans on a public hol. I love morning rains like this especially when i can slack and stay in bed. But i felt more like blogging instead of staying in bed. So here i am, in front of the com with a mug (not the stitch one, Calvin!! =0 ) typing away. I enjoy the loud pour of the rain outside, don't get me wrong cuz i do miss such days even if it woke me up.
Went to catch GI Joe on sat with melvin jaime alex and calvin at the grand cathy on sat. Very seldom do you get a 2hr movie feeling that it's only an hr and a half! Mei's house was a walk away from paragon and i din know how to go so poor alex and calvin were tugged behind. Well then, social house with the guys plus freesia and peiwen was alright. But the crowd was terrible! the place was SOo0o empty. disappointed! well, i guess the "feelings talk" went pretty fine. I really do wanna learn how to speak my feelings out. And im still learning to. Cuz sometimes when i say something really frank, it may go brutally honest and blunt it'll be as well. So technically, i'm learning how to be more tactful as well. Thank you peiwen and alex for your help. I know those long smoking sessions were sth but i dno what.
And i meant it much when i say that im glad we didn't give up learning from one another cuz in such circumstances, sometimes it's easier to just give everything up. But im not ready to. cuz you mean alot to me. and i could have let go even cuz im the one being squeezed. and i was really disheartened when jason texted me that you were not well. and you could have let go too cuz of how insensitive i was. but im truly heartened that we trashed things out and hold onto each other stronger with open minds. Once again, im sorry calvin and that we all learn from everything, big and small.
Oh yes, caught Up! with Calvin and his school friends on thurs. *points!* <- that's what the talking dog does! Darn cute! and the giant bird which loves chocolate. "good morning sir. may i assist you ... ..." the little boy is cute too hahahaha. "Will you be my prisoner please?" asked the talking dog to the giant bird. omg! Da jie went camping with janice and friends in Msia. And i miss camping. Those outdoor survival instincts. And nature. And wilderness. I wanna go outdoor cooking, rafting, pioneering etc ! Rarr rarr!!!
I wanna thank my daddy for being there for me. one liner says alot huh =x
Well then, cherri's signing off with a sore throat no matter how much i hydrate myself one hour later...
going back to bed! =P
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