Watcha Say?

You feel better this way without us quarrelling?

Sure, the big time quarrels got me suicidal. But I miss the small bickers. Those tsks. Those eye-gorging replies/ reactions. I think i can cope with everything else that's in my path. Doctor advised exercise and better slping n eating patterns/ habits. And my parents don't know what im going through. Sisters know about me seeing the doc only. Jogs help me to relieve/ destress.

Blading with you makes me smile. I think alot after those sessions. It's nice to see you happily blading fast, carefree. Teases. Talks. And the nature helps me think a little better than urbanized parts of this small dot. I'm better now, the wounds on my palms are healing pretty fast (: no worries. next time, i'll get the guards so that i can try stunts more daringly! =D

_watcha say?_____________

[Chorus]
wha- wha- wha- wha- what did you say
Mmmm whatcha say
Ooh that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say
(Jason Derulo)
Mmmm that it´s all for the best?
Because it is

[Verse 1]
I was so wrong for so long
Only tryin´ to please myself (myself)
Girl I was caught up in her lust
When I don´t really want no one else
So no I know I should of treated you better
But me and you were meant to last forever

[Hook]
So let me in (let me in) give me another chance (another chance)
To really be your man
Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out
I just didn´t know what to do
But when I become a star we´ll be living so large
I´ll do anything for you
So tell me girl

[Chorus]
Mmmm whatcha say
Ooh that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say
Mmmm that it´s all for the best?
Because it is
Mmmm whatcha say
Ooh that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say
Whatcha say (whatcha say)
wha- wha- wha- wha- what did she say?

[Verse 2]
How could I live with myself
Knowing that I let our love go (love go)
And ooh what I do with one chance
I just gotta let you know
I know what I did wasn´t clever
But me and you we´re meant to be together

[Hook]
So let me in (let me in) give me another chance (another chance)
To really be your man
Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out
I just didn´t know what to do
But when I become a star we´ll be living so large
I´ll do anything for you
So tell me girl

[Chorus]
Mmmm whatcha say
Ooh that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say
Mmmm that it´s all for the best?
Because it is
Mmmm whatcha say
Ooh that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say
Whatcha say (whatcha say)
wha- wha- wha- wha- what did she say?


[Verse 3]
Girl tell me what to say I (say I)
I don´t want you to leave me
Though you caught me cheatin´
Tell me tell me what to say I (say I)
I really need you in my life
Cuz things ain´t right girl

Tell me tell me what to say I (say I)
I don´t want you to leave me
Though you caught me cheatin´
Tell me tell me what to say I (say I)
I really need you in my life
Cuz things ain´t right

[Hook]
Cause when the roof caved in and the truth came out
I just didn´t know what to do
But when I become a star we´ll be living so large
I´ll do anything for you
So baby whatcha say!

[Chorus]
Mmmm whatcha say
Ooh that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say
Mmmm that it´s all for the best?
Because it is
Mmmm whatcha say
Ooh that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmmm whatcha say
Whatcha say (whatcha say)
wha- wha- wha- wha- what did she say?

NOW I FKING UNDERSTAND WHAT HELPLESSNESS REALLY REALLY MEAN.

When you're up at 6.30am, saw 3 sms and a missed call all from the same person. and you really want punch yourself for not switching your phone to normal mode after you were ensured that he's fine. And then you called back only to find that you feel that you falling aslp didn't mean anything but crap. and you cant do anything at the moment to turn back 3hrs ago and that the person's not well and you cant drive all the way down. the least bit of consolation? he can take the cab and get home himself now. you feel rotten. i feel worse.

Evacuate the dancefloor.

Turn up the music
Let's get out on the floor
I like to move it
Come and give me some more
Watch me gettin' physical
Out of control
There's people watchin' me
I never miss a beat

Steal the night
Kill the lights
Feel it under your skin
Time is right
Keep it tight
Cause it's pulling you in
Wrap it up
Can't stop cause it feels like an overdose
(Feels like an overdose)

Oh, oh, evacuate the dancefloor
Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound
Oh, oh, stop, this beat is killing me
[Hey, Dr.DJ let the music take me underground]

Everybody in the club
Evacuate the dancefloor
Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound
Everybody in the club
Stop, this beat is killing me
[Hey, Dr.DJ come burn this place right down to the ground]

My body's aching
System overload
Temperatures rising
I'm about to explode
Watch me I'm intoxicating taking the show
It's got me hypnotized
Everybody step aside

Steal the night
Kill the lights
Feel it under your skin
Time is right
Keep it tight
Cause it's pulling you in
Wrap it up
Can't stop cause it feels like an overdose
(Feels like an overdose)

Oh, oh, evacuate the dancefloor
Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound
Oh, oh, stop, this beat is killing me
[Hey, Dr.DJ let the music take me underground]

Everybody in the club
Evacuate the dancefloor
Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound
Everybody in the club
Stop, this beat is killing me
[Hey, Dr.DJ come burn this place right down to the ground]

Come on and evacuate
Feel the club is heating up
Move on and accelerate
Push it to the top
Come on and evacuate
Feel the club is heating up
Move on and accelerate
You don't have to be afraid

Now guess who's back with a brand new track
That got everybody in the club going mad
So everybody in the back
Get your back up on the wall and just shake that thang
Go crazy, yo lady, yo baby
Let me see you wreck that thang
And drop it down low, low
Let me see you take it to the dancefloor, yo

Everybody in the club
Evacuate the dancefloor
Everybody in the club
I'm infected by the sound
Everybody in the club
Stop, this beat is killing me
[Hey Dr.DJ let the music take me underground]

Oh, oh, evacuate the dancefloor
Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound
Oh, oh, stop, this beat is killing me
[Hey, Dr.DJ let the music take me underground]

Everybody in the club
Evacuate the dancefloor
Oh, oh, I'm infected by the sound
Everybody in the club
Stop, this beat is killing me
[Hey, Dr.DJ come burn this place right down to the ground]

-----------------------------------------------

Stuck in my head. Upbeat maniac hurhurhur! =P

It's getting itchy here man! Go sleep, cherri, sleep!!

I had fun blading today. The peak of excitement? Nearly crashed into the huge board at the new skate park at ecp. thanks to calvin, he broke my fall before i fell. or i most prob would be having a broken nose now or ankle or so! thank you yo! =D and for the technical stuff on my lappie and mp3! =)) yay <3

cherri

Down.

Baby are you down down down down down,
Down, Down,
Even if the sky is falling down,
Down, down
Ooh (ohhh)

You oughta know, tonight is the night to let it go,
Put on a show, I wanna see how you lose control,

So leave it behind 'cause we, have a night to get away,
So come on and fly with me, as we make our great escape.

So baby don't worry, you are my only,
You won't be lonely, even if the sky is falling down,
You'll be my only, no need to worry,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Down, Down,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Down, Down,
Even if the sky is falling down,

Just let it be, come on and bring your body next to me,
I'll take you away, hey, turn this place into our private getaway,

So leave it behind 'cause we, have a night to get away,
So come on and fly with me, as we make our great escape,
(So why don't we run away)

So baby don't worry, you are my only,
You won't be lonely, even if the sky is falling down,
You'll be my only, no need to worry,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Down, Down,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Down, Down,
Even if the sky is falling down,

(LiL Wayne)
Even if the sky is falling down like she 'posed to be,
She gets down low for me,
Down like her temperature, cause to me she zero degrees,
She cold, over freeze,
I got that girl from overseas,
Now she my miss America,
Now can I be her soldier please,
I'm fighting for this girl,
On a battlefield of love,
Don't it look like baby cupid sendin arrows from above,
Don't you ever leave the side of me,
Indefinitely, not probably,
And honestly I'm down like the economy,
Yeahhhhhh

So baby don't worry, you are my only,
You won't be lonely, even if the sky is falling down,
You'll be my only, no need to worry,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Down, Down,
Baby are you down down down down down,
Down, Down,
Even if the sky is falling down

------------------------

Pretty sweet, aint it? (:

and when...

And just when i thought i could handle the world by myself,

i crumble into streams and rivers with uncontrollable shivers.

and when i thought i gathered myself already,

the arm which pulled me back from the door,

gathered me to my source of warm and love.

And the cycle continues... ...

What's more wonderful about it was that

pillows and bolsters fight we're bound to,

happy smacking physical pain we inflict each time

laughed and jeered with each try of cheat and mischief,

ended up with cold dark room of a bigger picture.

I held it all in without fail,

a try or two they had tried to fall,

strong-willed and prideful i am,

none of this ever came to my wildest dreams,

to fall into the arms i fell out of.

22nd yo.

And i wish you a very happy birthday + 1 day today...

Well, for the wrong sized presents, they will be corrected. For the smiles and laughters, warmth of family, i hope you appreciated them all. Well, it's a consolation for me at least you enjoyed the cake. At least efforts seem to paid off. And see you smile, that's the most comforting reason to everything. that's the thank you that said it all.

And that's why i love celebrating birthdays. esp celebrating with and for the people you love. For when they smile and filled with happiness, the love goes around. Cuz that's what's most impt to me.

I learnt sth this morning... as much as i wanted you to rest cuz you sounded really in deep slp, i woke u up. i learnt not to decide for you; do things that have been agreed on and let you decide.

And i actually am glad i did so. Breakfast was simple yet sweet, lovely. Awesomely chocolatey; filled with warmth. xie xie ni, cal.

will enjoy the music on the way to sch... like soon... off i go to a very long day ahead. ciaos.

swt autumn night,

Orgo is a nice place to hang out and chill. maybe the next time i go, i'll take the pretty angle that i adore- temperate climate looking trees in the background and the stylish indoor glasses in the foreground. pretty awesome chandelier black lights with reflections on the glasses. i dno how words can describe, the best is done by the picture. well, it says a thousand words, as the saying goes.

Someone once advised me to minimize myself from getting into a situation where i'll face rather head-banging problems as opposed to a heartache for a while. i know im someone who learns by experience so i'll rather face problems cuz i know i'll grow and take something back, be it a learning point or sth i need to improve. i guess sometimes it's how much i am open to it or just how long i learn from it.

sigh. but i must learn not to stereotype or anticipate the person's reaction. i think too much, i don't do what must or should be done. which turns out to be worse. note to self: fire and explosion analogy. i must learn to say no, esp when im uncomfortable with the suggestion and esp when it's emotional. i must learn to how keep to my word, esp so when things are small. as they say, small ones lead to bigger ones. i need to be more frank and less accommodating esp when it's too much to accommodate for.

yes, it's rather heart-wrenching to be in this position. but i felt that the solution we both settled on was good enough, better than what i personally would have given. there are things BOTH have to change, but i suppose ive got a lil more to do so.

Learning with an open mind, helps one to accept things easier. And grow faster as well. we all shouldnt give excuses to ourselves. be it quitting smoking, drinking.

come to think of it, some words that he used were rather hurtful. ideas were overwhelming. oh well. like what i believe, i don't blame someone esp when they have my best intentions at heart. sometimes i wish i can tell the person off for scolding/ chiding me. but i cant, i wun.

lavish stuff, no one will complain too much of it. but the cable box is down. i dno why, i'll try to fix it. again =\

there are things a friend should do and shouldn't do. im sry if im rather quiet or aloof last night, i cant put my heart at it the same way. that's how it is when you have a choice. i love to spend time with your family, they have a place in my heart as so do you, without a doubt and needless to say. esp esp you, your mom and dajie. and your dad. and breeze. and steph. and the hamster. and the bonsai potato. and stitch and the puppet dolls. but i dn think i will drop by on my own accord for dinner with you all unless someone requests.

anw e soln will allow us to do our own things, grow at our own speed... i can focus on more things as well; work, family, friends, dance. and we will be happier, less the head-on madness. i want to be the amazing person in my loved ones' lives.

life is SO unpredictable. i received a msg from alvin tan. it was sent by his bro. it read that alvin had a heavy head injury but due to low bp, they cant operate on him and chances of him surviving is really slim. my heart sank. i wanted to sms alvin on tues, asking how is he and all cuz i havent spoken to him for a long while. and now, this. he's only 30 for God's sake.

always ppl ask me how i get my energy from... i always am busy, with lack of sleep but still hype up even through the day and night... my ans? i don't know. i know i seem to have a abundance of it from internally. it helps when you're happy. it does. Happiness fills you positively, gets you going. smile. tiny hops a walk. my happiness now? at least i know i have ppl who loves me. i know i have to carry on with life, being better. having to improve, reaching my goals. it's tough sometimes, yes, very much. but when you know someone out there is concern about you, you feel better. you truly live on... ...

im sry that this all have to happen when your bday is here. esp when it's the same for last year. im truly sry abt it. but i do hope you'll enjoy yourself in your drinking and partying nonetheless.
as long as you're happy... ...

iloveyou.

curry rice was nice. lan was fun. but what's fun when your companion isn't one?

i wanted to type how much i enjoyed myself ytd... how much i enjoyed my day and night...

not tonight not tonight.

----------------------------------

lying on my sofa, dark it is. under my quilt, lonely it feels.

where's right here by my side when you need someone, but your bear?

i feel crappy, belittled it seems. though others see otherwise, the one who i cares for most doesn't.

im thinking hard on the repercussions, left and right... back and forth...

i wish God would hint to me.ie

i'd rather suffer from too much happiness.

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down." - Woody Allen

"And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who had been called according to his purpose" - Romans 8: 28

"Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened and I will give you rest" - Matthew 11:28

"God is always for you and that he who begins a good work in you will perfect it till the day of Christ" - Philipians 1:6

"Opportunity presents itself for those who are prepared for it."
"Encourage even the smallest positive change in a person... and not criticise or condemn"

Faith is the substance of things hoped for and unseen. Only when you trust even without a need to 'see' then will you begin to understand and trust.

travail d'amour

Desmond shared this on facebook:

travail d'amour... (Labour of Love...)

Sun at 6:26am

It takes two hearts to form a picture,

And many pieces of it to create fractures,

But fractures as it may sound,

It can always be fixed all around.

To be apart may sometimes fix thy hearts,

It matters when together again comes thy hearts,

Do not be fooled when being apart,

Shall not be tempted to stay apart.

For when two hearts come together again,

Thy Love will be ever stronger than seastorms of rain.

Withstand this agonizing test of time,

And Fruits of Love thou shall reap in time.

with smiles.

Slept in. Body couldn't take 20hrs on 3hrs of slp. not for a long time.

Sent mooncakes over to Cal's. couldnt get the 4 flavours one from fairmont, so ended up with baileys... anw since he likes it, it's good. hahaha if not no one will eat. Went to catch Surrogate with Calvin at Kallang Leisure. Rather thought provoking movie. About us human missing out on the human touch. How everything seem so perfect in the surrogate world albeit the machinery. hmm... ...

Arcade. stuffed toys and daytona. got thrashed =( din know can drift one! pretty impressed actually! hahaha oh well, next time i'll try! =) heh, coconut head was kidnapped. cant believe i dont remember indiana jones. i couldnt match the movie title to the theme song that i randomly sang omg even after tons of hints. No wall, just pole hahaha.

Went Cyberdome at Le Meridien to find Freesia, Charissa and Joe. Couldn't find the place. So ulu. Played L4D. I've never played with other friends except Calvin. Once, joined another 2 players for advance mode. But other than that, i've always had guidance from him. Haha, so come just now, couldn't find the place and all. hahaha. I thought i was bad...! then Cal came and Killing Floor seems rather cool. Quote him, " Killing Floor is like L4D meet CS". HAha mutated beings and monsters with load of weapons that you can purchase. And weld. wth. Katana seems rather nice. but nth beats the thought of chainsaw. whee!

had supper with them and john. talked qt a bit and yup i drove a manual van back to my place!! Whee. Poor john and joe. haha so bad, they laughed at me so much. lack of practise is so embarrassing =( got too used to auto cars alr and come to think of it, i've never drove a manual car out to the express way and town! wow.

alright, gotta be in bed now. hv to be up by 7.15 latest. LONG day later! work trg, sch, (thinkin of wad in between), church svc (first time gg! to my sisters' svc), butter (most prob i think). it's mid-autumn festival today!! ahhaha must eat the rabbit mooncupcake with my family! =)

i had fun today and night. thank you all (:

Fame.

The movie, reminded me of how much i miss the performing arts. How much i hold dearly arts is to me. How i miss dance. It is a good way to remind us all that we have talents in us that are yet to be discovered and it's only you, met with the opportunities, that can unleash them.

It reminded me also that life isn't easy and trying times are events that help us grow. Whenever we take a step back, we also move ahead even further and faster than we already are. But the only person who can hinder you from growing, is yourself. So, persist and be reminded of your reason why you are there.

God doesn't throw obstacles at us that are too difficult to overcome. It's us who make it difficult. He presents difficulties that are manageable for our souls to grow as we overcome the obstacles. He shows us the way with signs, be it dreams, people or verses. Even feelings are too.

Job is a book of trials and tribulations that we can seek enlightenment from, while Proverbs helps us to remember how we should lead our lives. Men and women are different in the eyes of the Lord.

I'll grow and learn and overcome difficulties... i shall not be defeated. i must be strong and have faith. to see myself through.

"Behold, this is the joy of His way,

And out of the earth others will grow.

Behold, God will not cast away the blameless,

Nor will He uphold the evildoers.

He will yet fill your mouth with laughing,

And your lips with rejoicing.

Those who hate you will be clothed with shame.

And the dwelling place of the wicked will come to nothing"

- Job 8:19- 22