Flashbacks, we all have...
There are things we wanna share, yet flashbacks are memories that belong to us solely. It's just a matter whether we wanna share with others only.
Flashbacks and memories have pleasant and unpleasant ones. Most of the time, it's whether we wanna get engrossed thinking about them all. They make us smile, inevitably, they make us cry or yearn too. Reminiscence- we think back- makes us smile for they did happen to make us strongerand for us to learn our lessons. Yet more importantly, makes us who we are now. It's really a part of growing up and getting wiser.
Maybe the flashbacks ARE holding me back, preventing me from moving forward and it's the wall that i have around me. Preventing me from getting hurt. Sheltering me from the evil world out there. I wanna move on too. But reservations there are. It is comforting to know there are many who care for me. One more better than one less. Emotional baggage? Maybe. I can't seem to see far. Perhaps it's just that I don't dare to anymore. I really don't know at times what matters to me. There isn't any other way to put across in this state of mine now. Lack of sleep doesn't help either.
You asked if i have any expectation out of this. I can only tell you, I don't; I try not to. I probably took the extreme lesson from my past- not to have any expectations. Other than one. And that is happiness- For myself, for those around me. Priority is what we have in difference. Thinks- Friends vs family. Friends vs acquaintances. Me vs you.
I wanna be carefree; be happy; be worry-free. That's about all. Oh, and to pass my TP! And to pass maths test later. To have my tuition kids do well. To have everything run smoothly in council work and my roadshow work. To have you all reading this, happy!
3 comments:
my dear, no matter what happens, u still have me alright? sry if i haven been contacting u.. but u;re still loved. :)
i think worrying abt something or somebody is not all as unpleasant as u think it might be...it shows u care,and that seemingly minute effort itself is already a step towards an optimistic scenario...expectations to me juz means that i'm determined to make things work and tt's the goal i've set myself and 4 those concerned..well,try to keep the 'glass is ALWAYS half full' mindset,we'll see how things go from there okay bunny?..
ooh and gd luck for TP,carrot reward still ard for collection anytime nxt nxt wk..hahaha..*assuring hugs*
ay! i think that whatever happened in the past does make us who we are now. look at how i turned up now. haha!!
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