I decided to download the music files that the mj alumni guys posted online for the midyear concert out of curiosity and also i really miss band. Boy, I'm definitely not regretting the time that the download off the file hosting site take. What made me smile/ smirk was the all too familiar tone of the pleasant start to Bert Appermont's Noah's Ark. That very song that we played for concerts and also for the International Music Competition 2006 in Genting where we attained Gold with Honours. Yummy. That very song that i really enjoyed the 10mins+ very much. Juxtaposing the trumpet playing in Starbucks through my earphones and Noah's Ark, the former was of no comparison. Hands down. I can never describe how i really feel right now, but i certainly miss the espirit de corps of the bandsmen, primary school through jc. Nevertheless, the level of the bands were definitely far off. I had the most gruelling time in MJ band under the baton of Ms Sia. However, it was the place where i grew the most as a player. Songs were wonderful. Invictus by Philip Sparke was our Gold winning piece in our very first SYF competition in 2005 May 5th, if my memory doesn't fail me. AWESOME was the word. I miss those concert times too. Those times when we were had all the spotlight especially when we were soloists. After each song, Ms Siah will make us stand and bow. Those musical pieces! And fast swaying jazz pieces! Rarr. They touched my heart really much. Reminiscing such times in sec and pri also. (:
Anyhows back to reality, after thinking about it for quite like the whole day, i decided what i needed to do and what i should simply focus on. I can't let others take charge of my life and affect me so much, even if they are the closest to me. Yes, they matter. But that's it. I'm sick and tired of being pushed around and let you be my master so to speak. That's all i gotta share. I just feel that it's wasting too much of my time thinking and feeling. After the last straw this morning, i've numbed myself. I've been too concerned about them but things i tried to improve the matter/s were to no avail. Forget about it. One afternoon off is all I'm giving myself to grief for the rest that has gone and about to come. If they ever regret, that's not really my problem anymore. I know at the very least, i tried. Be it subtly, discretely or even obviously. I live for myself and not others live for me. Period.
Time to get things done done done. First up, my FYE. Fastrack. Yum.
Cherri.
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