5am.

i hate the feeling whereby i screwed up my sleeping time: i nap when i normally don't, i sleep when i'm normally awake. and it's only these couple of days that i've been doing so. it sucks to have myself not being able to fall aslp at 3.30am in the morning cuz i've napped at 3pm and fell asleep at 1am, but i weren't even doing work/ studies/ revision. crappy feeling. the best thing is there are alot in my mind and frankly, it doesn't help when i feel pressurized by other things when im already not able to focus in studies. 

my papers are 20th, 21st and 27th, since im not taking the one on 28th. it doesn't help when i have people asking me why not just give it a shot. i ask them back, "why waste my time trying to even figure out what the subject is trying to tell me?!" yar i know, it is not the positive me. but i hate to admit that it's not that tough, since freesia can get like 48 marks for prelims. then again, she probably at least get the gist of the subject. note: it's SUBJECT, not topic. it's not the money, it's the effort. i may sound stolid on this, but i know what's in next year for me. Yes, consequentially, i'll have to cope with 5 subjects. i'm taking into account whereby i pass the 3 core subjects this time around too.

anw i've been prawning with calvin quite a bit that i must say we both are not bad at it. i think he's good at it. just that the last time we prawned (2 days ago), probably not much luck. or maybe i took his luck. cuz the malay guys opposite us were talking about me. How come i throw the rod in, then sure get bite. and this occurred a couple of times. qt cool neh ahaha. freshwater prawn is fun yet addictive. 1.6kg 2 rods 3hrs, not too bad la. i wanna try lobstering next! we saw this guy catch lobster but he din share much, only that he could see sth white in the water- either dead prawn or lobster. but even when it bites, there's a technique to catching it. i think when the lobster bites, the float will sink. then he waited for a while before he tugs the line qt hard. but all these got a certain proven technique. i know, cuz i realised the technique for freshwater prawn (i mean diff ppl got diff techniques. mine's diff from calvin's though in general, it's qt the same like for the lobster one above). anw, it gets so addictive that before i shut my eyes after each session, my mind pictures the float sinking = prawn! this was more prominent when i lost the HUUUGEEEEE prawn on the surface the last time we went. omg that one would probably weigh 700g or so? the claws were humongously huge. omg crying out loud man!! rarr rarr!!

anyhow it's 5am already. i haven't clubbed in a while, i can't really rmb how it feels to be high in a club. i only know that if it's past the high stage, it sucks. esp for your friends. i do drink, but normally abt 2 glasses when im outside, be it beer or else. i think drinking at home is better- much much much safer esp after my experiences. i had Moscato just now with my dad. sth like dessert wine but a lil more bubbly. having chocolates with it was way better than it alone. hahaha (: i had way lesser than the white and red wines i opened the last 3 times round. but you know how it is- i drink when im not feeling good. and it feels good to drink and fall aslp. rather than trying to cry yourself to sleep like how most people will. yes, that's usually the case right? bah, im not promoting that one should do so whenever you feel sad or others. im just thinking back that's all.  it's just way better to open up and talk and not bottle everything inside, cuz when it accumulates, it's bad. real bad yea.

anyhow, im awake now. like long ago. i feel like baking. but i dno when he will call, cuz i offered to send him home from rebel. then again, he probably would text me when he got home instead. sically, i bake halfway then need to go off. then chao da, like my toasts. *rolls eyes* always one leh... maybe im not cut out for culinary. even basic one like toaster also like tt. hmpfh. feels qt inferior that a guy can do better than me. i tried. and i will again. sigh.

oh well, hopefully mom will wanna go jog later when she wakes up. at least i got companion. not that songs in my mp3 aren't sufficient. but company for a change (: i couldn't believe that i could complete 2 rounds of my estate plus climbing up the stairs. whoot awesome can. so i believe really that it's in the mind (esp when it's not the stitches, which sucks big time). anyhow, i actually jogged to the beat of bachata and salsa songs. maybe you ppl should try, other than rnb or rock. just for a change. hahah maybe classical is good too =x i dno, you try then tell me heh.

okay, im pretty done here now. was looking at cookies recipes. haha ultimately, i think im lazy to bake esp in the day. so hot already still have that 375 deg fahrenheit at you. it's the same as cold rainy day still eat ice cream. ;P

ciaos. xoxoxo.

cherri